“If they could make it work…” I paused to see Emilio’s reaction.
“Don’t.”
“Why not?”
“It’s different. You and I,” Emilio shook his head, “it’s not the same.”
“It’s not. It’s better.”
“Better?” Emilio questioned, but he seemed upset. “Nothing about you and I would make our situation better.”
I sighed, “What are you saying, Emilio?”
“You know what I’m saying.”
“You’re the closest person to my brother. What better person for me to be with?”
“That’s the point, Bethany. Each time I think of you, I betray him. Each time I touch you, I betray him.”
“It doesn’t stop you, though,” I reminded him.
“And it eats me up inside. The fact we got caught by someone enrages me. I don’t like when people have something to hold over my head.”
A ball of emotion was stuck in my throat. Deep down, I knew what it would be like if he had to choose between being with me or my brother’s Consigliere.
“So then why keep doing it?” I challenge.
“I don’t know.”
I spat out regretfully. “Let’s just end it now. For good. Pretend it never happened.”
Stupidly, a part of me thought he would fight back, but that was a ridiculous belief. With one last blow to the heart, his response sent me into a state of numbness.
“I agree.”
Chapter 37
Standing in the shower as the hot water stung my skin, turning it red, it took everything within me to stop sobbing. I have been feeling numb since leaving the hospital yesterday; nothing seemed to matter anymore. How am I able to cry without emotion? My heart was ripped out, and I just didn’t understand why I was always the one put on the sidelines. Eventually, I leave the burning water and throw on some clothes. My phone had ten missed calls from Alfie and counting. No matter who they were, I was in no mood to talk to anyone.
I was ready to be my own person, but to do that, I needed to leave Chicago. How would I be able to look at Emilio without breaking down? Something needs to change—I need to change. So, I began plotting where I’d go, when, and how I would survive. With a degree in business management, I could find something. Maybe I’d go to a small town and make some friends that would turn into family. Isn’t that what Aria did? Ugh. The thought of her was upsetting me. I envied her in more ways than one. She was smart—the kind of smart that can keep up with Luca’s kind—she was bold, unafraid to stand up for herself, and how she chose a life she wanted for herself were all things I didn’t have in me.
To no surprise, there was a knock at the door. Someone was here to check up on me, but I wasn’t interested in playing along anymore. I don’t know if I ever would if I didn't step up now. Lounging on the sofa, I was on my laptop, looking up homes in small cities. The knocking on the door becamelouder, and I continued to ignore it. My phone starts to ring. It was Luca. His behavior was so belligerent yesterday I didn’t want to see him. If that’s the kind of behavior that Aria, a Cassariano, sparked within him to speak to his own flesh and blood, then why have any respect for him in return?
The call drops, and then he calls again. He calls three more times before sending a text message.
I had to read that over again a few times. Was Luca apologizing? Am I hallucinating? Getting off the sofa, I go to let him in. When I opened the door, the sight of him got me worried. Never in my life have I ever seen my brother look unsettled.
“Are you okay?” I asked as I let him in.
Luca was silent and just walked in. Unlike the usual attire of a three-piece, he wore a regular suit with the top two buttons undone. Walking into my kitchen, he pulls out a bottle of liquor from my cabinet. He’s a scotch drinker, but I’m not. The strongest thing I got was Dulce Vida Blanco tequila. Watching him pour himself a shot and down it like water made me question what could have my brother this rattled.
“This is fucking garbage,” he said before taking another shot.
“You should slow down; that’s 50% proof.” I walked over and took the bottle away after he poured a third shot. “Okay, you’re freaking me out now. What’s up with you?”
Luca just stared at the shot while he leaned on the countertop with his two hands for support. “I needed to speak to someone who wouldn’t be judgmental.”
My heart tightened. His words made me miss the bond Luca and I used to have before power consumed him. I don’t remember when it happened, but it was like a switch. One day, we were as close as possible, telling each other everything about our personal lives to suddenly every little thing he said and did affected every part of his life, which only made him grow cold toward me.
