Chapter 1
The air was thick with passion. Anywhere my vision landed, they fell onto sexual acts played by lovers that varied in participants. Men and women’s bodies all over one another sparked this longing of wanting something real—something that made me feel just as alive as these people did living out their fantasies. This was my first time at one of these, and although I was timid, it piqued my curiosity.
“Not what I expected,” my boyfriend Casper whispered.
“Well, it is a sex party,” giggling as I whispered back.
“I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
We walk past a woman giving a blow job to a man while another man watched as he touched himself. This was one of Chicago’s most exclusive adult parties, and it took me months to get an invite. The place was full of naked men and women openly exploring their sexual fantasies. Some people participated while others watched. Either way, it was erotic, and it was thrilling.
“It’s not turning you on just a little?” I asked curiously.
The moaning sounds got my body hotter and my heart beating faster. I wanted to participate. However, I wasn’t sure how far Casper would go. We were practically the most dressed ones there. Casper walked around in his boxers while I left my matching lace bra and panties on.
“What if someone here knows us?” Casper asked as he looked around. “Your brother will kill me. Literally.”
“It’s discreet. If anyone opens their mouth, they get banned. That’s enough to keep everyone quiet.”
“Since when have you gotten sexually adventurous?”
“Just want to try something new.”
“You don’t have to do that for me, Bethany,” he said, kissing my cheek.
No, I didn’t. It was more for me. My life was well … imperfectly perfect. Depending on who you were—you either envied me or belittled me. Being the sister of the most powerful mobster to date—Luca DeCarlo, wasn't easy. My brother wasn’t just a mobster; he was a Don. A Don is the highest status in organized crime—they are the boss of all bosses. We were like royalty in this city, but not in the way you’d think. Our name came with respect and fear—depending on who you were, determined which factored more into your obeyance. We were at the top of the chain, untouchable, and if you asked, it was no secret that my brother ran everything around here. Some girls would kill to be me but never know what that truly means. From the outside looking in, I had everything I could want, but from the inside looking out, I felt like a prisoner screaming to be set free. My life was laid out for me without much of my consent.
“How about we dip out of here and put on our own little show privately?” Casper smiled.
Smiling in return, I answer, “Fine.”
Giving in was frustrating but nothing new. I’ve become so accustomed to doing what I was told I don’t think I know how to make my own choices anymore. We began walking down a hall, and something caught my eye as we passed a room. Looking in as we walked by, I was stunned by the scene. It was like a stage with a large chaise sofa in the center. So much was happening that I couldn’t fully process what I was seeing. A man was positioned on his knees fucking a woman who was lying on her back while a woman sat on her face, and another woman straddled her stomach, facingthe man as he fingered her. Looking away as I continued to walk beside Casper, I couldn’t help but be out of breath.
“Go ahead; I’m going to use the restroom,” I bluffed.
“Okay, I’ll meet you out front.”
As Casper continued walking in the same direction, I slowly turned back toward the room. What was I doing? The closer I got to the room, the harder my heartbeat. Finding myself at the door, I stood watching and taking it all in. My eyes didn’t know where to look first, but I was drawn into the heat of the moment. My eyes were fixated on the man, who not only kept this tempo at thrusting into the woman who lay on her back while fingering the woman straddling her, but his other hand grabbed the head of the woman who sat on the face of the first woman laying on her back and began aggressively kissing her. It was live porno in front of my eyes. The man’s back had a large birthmark located behind his left shoulder that looked like a stain on his skin in the faint shape of a pear. Sweat glistened on his body, reflecting on the room's soft red lighting.
The woman getting fingered moaned in pleasure before noticing me in a trance watching them. She smiled and motioned with her finger to join. Startled by her noticing me, I began to panic. Suddenly, I felt ridiculous just watching them. Did I really think I’d participate? She whispered something into the man’s ear before she climbed off the chaise and walked toward me. Part of me wanted to run, while the other was eager to stay. I was here for the experience, so why be a coward now? Wasn’t the whole point of coming here to live outside the box I was cramped into?
“First time?” she asked as she approached me, noticing I wasn’t completely naked.
Unable to respond, I nod my head. She was taller than I was by an inch; she had blonde hair just as I did. She walked behind me, standing close to my body.
“Just relax,” she whispered into my ear.
Her fingers hooked around my panties, and she dragged them down as she lowered herself to her knees, removing them completely. My legs shook out of sheer panic. Turning around, I looked down at her as she smiled at me. I wasn’t ready for this. Although I was curious, I just wasn’t into women, and I was ready to bolt. Before I could step away, she placed her mouth at my opening. The feel of her tongue against my clit made my knees buckle as I tightly shut my eyes. Suddenly, I felt a hand grab my breast from someone standing behind me. My eyes shot open, and I saw a man’s hand massaging my nipple over my lace bra while his other hand took my leg and draped it over the woman’s shoulder, allowing her more access to move her tongue inside me.
A wave of electricity bolted through me as I breathed heavier. I refused to look over my shoulder or down at the woman, fearing I’d just run. I decided to live in the moment, for the first time, allowing myself to do what I wanted and no one dictating what I do. Allowing all of this to continue and let my body feel the surging orgasm, the sound of a tear made me look to the side to see the wrapper of a condom tossed on the floor. It quickly snapped me back to reality. I waited for someone to come in, ready to drag me out and be scolded, but nothing. This was really happening.
Wrapping his arm around my waist, I was lifted off my feet and placed on the chaise sofa on my hands and knees. It felt wrong to feel excited, and as badly as I wanted it, I was telling myself to get up and leave. But it didn’t take long before the man was inside me, and I didn’t stop it. The other women in the room stood there just watching. Were they judging me? Could they see on my face that I was tormented, whether this would be enjoyable? I shouldn’t be doing this. My mind was spinning and going into overdrive. I wanted it so badly that I was willing to risk my good-girl reputation for a moment like this. As he continued to slide inside of me, Ineeded to make a choice before things really went too far. When I open my mouth, nothing comes out, and it’s not because I can’t speak; it’s because I don’t really want to stop this. Who knows when this could happen again, so I might as well go through with it and store this in my bank of memories.
Once fully inside, I let out a breath of relaxation. This man had girth and must have known it to start gently, but once my body felt it was in a comfortable position, he began thrusting inside me. Grabbing my ponytail with one hand and slapping my ass with the other, I wondered why none of my boyfriends ever did this with me. This was the spiciest thing I’ve had happen during sex. I never thought I’d enjoy something like that. He slanted his hips slightly, which hit a spot that made me gasp. As he continued to fuck me, it didn’t take long before I was moaning nonstop and letting out a high-pitched orgasm. I think he hit my G-spot—also something that has never happened to me. I came as quickly as I could breathe but let the man wasn’t done yet. After a few more thrusts, the man’s body went rigid, and he let out a groan, which was a complete turn-on. That was another first. None of my boyfriends made a sound when they finished—some made a funny face or, like Casper, who just shut his eyes tight. I didn’t know a simple reaction as a groan would make sex even better. I lay on my stomach, still catching my breath as my body was limp from the most intense orgasm from a stranger.
Then came another first. The man pulled away, sliding off the condom and tossing it on the floor before leaving the room. When I caught my breath, I turned onto my back, finding the room empty. The rush of excitement was gone and in flooded shame. Feeling used, I got up and quickly left the room. I wasn’t that kind of girl. I was the girl who didn’t have one-night stands. Although ashamed, I didn’t regret what happened. That’s what confused me the most. I rush toward the exit that leads to the cubbies that hold your belongings. Quickly, I got dressed, realizing I hadnever picked up my underwear. Too nervous to return to the party, I just left without it. On my way out the door, the man who greeted us at the party watched whoever was leaving.
“Hope you enjoyed yourself,” he said, handing me a small square business card. “In case you are interested again.”
