“Goodbye, Ilse.”
Please don’t disappear on me.
Please.
But he was gone.
She listened for his footsteps, listened for the sound of his car driving away, and when everything was as silent and empty—-
Stumbling to her feet, she began to grope her way out of the room and clutched the newly installed safety rails as she made her way down the steps. She counted them in her mind, and it felt like a hundred tears fell from her eyes with every step.
“Ilse?”
She shuddered to a stop at the sound of Jan’s voice, and Ilse hastily wiped her tears as he met her at the mezzanine. “Hey.”
“Are you okay, Ilse?”
It wasn’t ever supposed to be his place to ask her that, and Ilse did her best to smile. “Yes. I’m okay.”
She could sense him gazing worriedly at her, and when he spoke, she could almost picture him shaking his head. “But you look horrible.”
“Thank you, Jan, for being so honest.” A painful laugh escaped her. “Thank you.” She reached for him, and because they were now familiar with how they had to interact with Ilse’s lost eyesight, Jan automatically moved his face within her reach.
Her fingers clasped his cheeks. “But you weretoohonest.” And she pinched them hard enough to make him yelp.
The sound made her want to smile, and she did.
But it also made her want to cry again, and she just—-
Ilse whispered tremulously, “I’m scared, Jan.”
“Don’t be, Ilse.” Jan’s tone was serious. “I’m here.”
Ah.
The tears rushed down her cheeks.
“I know. And I’m glad. I’m glad.” The tears fell faster, and her hands fell from his face. “But what I’m afraid of,” she choked out, “is that I won’t be strong enough.”
And as soon as the words slipped past her lips, there was no stopping all her fears from rushing to the fore, threatening to drown her—-
Until she heard Jan speak.
“Ilse, you’re not making sense.”
This brother of hers who was special, this brother of hers who everyone thought was a brick around her neck—-
“Why are you afraid? You’re always strong.”
This brother of hers was the only one who could save her now, and he did.
You’re always strong.
And it was almost she could hear her own parents in her mind, whispering the same things.
You’re always strong.
And she was.
