Ilse stilled.
“You’renevernormal to me.” His arms loosened and he pulled back, needing to look at her even though he knew that her eyesmight never meet his the way they once had. “You’ll always be extraordinary to me, Ilse. Always...ethereal.”
Her lovely full lips slowly curved in a smile that was pure Ilse. “Careful, Issac. Or I might think you’re beingsycophanticfor a reason.”
In spite of everything, Issac couldn’t keep himself from chuckling. “You don’t ever run out of big words, do you?”
“No, I don’t.” As she spoke, she reached for her phone, and he watched her fingers move over the screen like she could see every button. She asked Siri for the time, and at Siri’s reply, Ilse glanced at Issac in dismay. “I didn’t realize so much time’s already passed. I promised Jan I’d pick him up from school today and we’d eat out.”
“Oh.” Doing his best to hide his disappointment, he said instead, “That’s okay. Maybe we can just go out again. You only have to say when and where.”
“I’d love that.” But her voice was faint, her smile vague, and Issac knew her mind was focused on something else completely.
“Shall I walk you to your car?”
Ilse appeared startled then grateful, her unseeing eyes shining. “Yes, please.” She offered him her hand – the gesture speaking of practicality rather than self-pity – and Issac took it silently, not trusting himself to speak.
It had only been over a month since she had lost her eyesight, and yet Ilse was acting like she’d had an eternity to accept and move past the fact.
They walked to the parking lot in companionable silence, and by the time they reached her car, Issac had almost convinced himself that he had been wrong. She had not asked to meet him out of the blue because ofthat. She had only wanted to catch up with him, just like she had said.
And yet when he turned to tell her that they had made it to her car and it was time for them to part, that was when Issac realized he had been wrong.
She hadn’t been quiet because things were okay between them.
She had been quiet because—-
Her wet brown eyes met Issac’s, almost like her heart allowed her to see, and she choked out,“I’m sorry.”
The sight of the tears running down her face stunned him. Once upon a time, he had dreamt of having some kind of “first” with Ilse. He had dreamt of being her first date, her first kiss – any kind of first.
And now, he had it, but God, it was not what he wanted. He never wanted this.
“Ilse...” His voice was hoarse.
And still, she kept crying in silence, and the sight ravaged him.
He suddenly remembered how she had been on the day of her parents’ funeral. She had been nineteen, and despite being clueless and grieving, she hadn’t allowed herself to cry. Instead, Ilse had smiled back when people smiled at her, had laughed when the people needed to hear her laugh, and she had only nodded when people unknowingly, selfishly forbade her to showweakness by telling her they believed she would be strong for Jan.
And she had.
She hadn’t only faced insurmountable odds, but she had overcome them, too.
She was strong – the strongest person he had ever known – so why...why, goddammit, why did she look like she was about to shatter now?
“Ilse.”
The tears fell faster, and he could no longer help it. He hauled her into his arms, and she clung to him, sobs wracking her body, and it was another first he didn’t want, another first that did not and would never feel right.
“Issac.” She said his name like it was a cry for help, and oh God, it wasn’t fucking right.
His arms tightened around her. “I’m here,” he said rawly. “I’m always here for you.”
She raised unseeing eyes to his, and all the pain in the world was in it.
Ah God.
He suddenly felt like he was on the verge of breaking, too.
