She quickly pushed the thought away.Yearning for what’s forever lost only makes the pain worse, Ilse. Remember that.
There is never any point,she told herself strictly,yearning for what’s forever lost.
The lines at the ticket stalls were long, but Jan and Ilse patiently waited for their turn. When the cold started to bite, she pulled her coat more tightly around her and turned to Jan, asking, “Are you cold?”
He shook his head. “Nope.”
But his teeth had chattered just a bit, and Ilse swiftly took off her gloves, insisting that he put them on. When Jan started to protest, she gave him her best evil eye, saying, “Do you want to watch the game or not?”
“I want.” Jan’s tone was meek.
Even though he was a full-grown adult, her brother’s condition ensured that he would alwayslook, think,andactlike a child. He remained obediently still as she helped him put on her gloves. When they were done, she asked him, “What do you say?”
“Thank you,” her brother said cheerfully, dutifully, and his chubby cheeks turned red with pleasure at being able to do something his sister approved of.
Ilse dug her hands deep into her coat’s pockets, and when she turned away from Jan, she realized belatedly that some of the people standing in line with them had overheard their conversation and were giving them odd looks for it.
Ja,Ilse thought indifferently. Her brother suffered from both a mental disability and a hormonal disorder. She had long gotten over it, and so they would, too.
When it was their turn, Ilse handed the salesclerk her credit card. “Two tickets for general admission, please.”
A moment later, the salesclerk handed it back to her, and Ilse’s worst fears were confirmed.
“It’s been declined,mevreow.”
She had thought this could happen, had tried her best to prepare herself for it, but even so hearing the words still felt like a hard slap to her face. Forcing herself to smile, she gave the salesclerk her second credit card, asking brightly, “Could we try another one?”
You are not the only one to have your credit card declined,Ilse told herself bracingly. It was an embarrassing experience, but it didn’t mean it was the end of the world,ja?
It took but another moment before the salesclerk handed Ilse her second card back. “Sorry,mevreow.This one is not working either.”
Ah.She could feel the people behind her staring, could feel their pity gradually turning into impatience. She tried not to let it get to her, but it was hard, and Ilse hated the way her fingers shook as she pulled out her last card.
Two cards down,Ilse thought, and something that felt too much like panic started to claw out of her stomach.
Jan, who had been watching the entire time with worried eyes, asked, “Will we still be able to watch?” His loudly voiced question drew more pitying looks their way, and for one weak moment she had the craziest urge to scream at him.
Think about my pride!
But the moment passed, and sanity returned.
This was Jan, and he was special.
“Yes,” she told her brother firmly. “We will.” And she added a smile to it because it was not Jan’s place to worry.
Turning back to the salesclerk, Ilse gave the older woman her last card, smile still in place. “Third time’s the charm.”
“Of course.” The woman’s slightly bored tone almost made Ilse’s smile slip, but she held on to it with all her might.
Ilse watched the salesclerk swipe the card on the reader, and her heart started to beat hard.It was like asking someone out, she thought, and not knowing if that other person would say yes—-
Beep.
The official receipt started to come out from the machine.
Oh, thank the Lord the machine said yes!
They were still going to watch the game!
