The burning taste went away after so much. Unfortunately, the numbness only lingered in my mouth. The rest of my body, I felteverything.
“He’s always been so nice to me. Always leaning on me whenever those two fight.” I’ve purposely tried not to think about Joy during all of this.
He said I was growing into a fine woman now. Men were going to flock to me, but I had to be careful. Only a few would really appreciate me. Not like he does.
He said it was going to feel good. He lied.
I can’t tell her these things, though. Despite her being my go-to, I can’t find it in me to say the words out loud.
I’m embarrassed. Ashamed.Disgusting.
Raven’s always been in my corner. She’s the one person I don’t want to hate me. Now that I’ve told her, will she understand? I need… someonehasto be in my corner. I can’t do this alone. These last two days have been torture.
I force a smile on my face and shake my head, hoping it’ll make the evil thoughts fly right out. She’s really overreacting about the whole thing. “He cares for me, kind of like you do.”
Speaking the wrong words, she snaps out of it. Where horror once was, rage comes flooding in.
“He does not!” The words leave her lips raw, unfamiliar. Pointing her anger at me for only a moment’s notice before she catches herself. “Thatfucker.”
Watching her look around, the debate in her eyes, and the way she’s clenching her hands, she’s looking for something. Her eyes glaze over the knife block, but it’s not enough. Not when her search continues.
“It’s not that big of a deal,” I start, surprised by her anger. “You’re overthinking it.”
“He got you drunk. Took advantage of you.” Raven reminds me through a hiss before she finally locks back onto me.
“Raven, I’m the one who said yes.” Forcing the words out, they feel wrong. “This is just… I’m just being safe. I’m not going to do it again. It—” My words catch in the middle of my throat, and my eyes water.
I’m not going to start panicking. Not now.
She pauses, dropping the box. Her head suddenly bows. “You’ve always come crying to me for every scrape or bruise.” A shaky breath leaves her, and she turns to catch my stare. “It hurt, didn’t it?”
She’s assuming, but she has too much confidence behind her words.
“It didn’t—” I suck in a breath, and I shake my head, unable to finish my sentence.
I’ve never been able to lie to her, have I?
It hurt all night. It throbbed the next day. I couldn’t stop throwing up.
She makes this sound, and the tears in her eyes dry. Expression stoning over, her feet carry her toward me. Instead of stopping, she moves right past me.
Leaving the kitchen, I have to focus on not having a panic attack as I follow her at her heels.
“Where are you going?” Catching her arm, hoping to stop her from doing something she can’t take back, I freeze up when she looks at me once I’ve caught her.
It’s the strangest thing, seeing her face twisted with so much rage. She looks like she wants to kill something, not just get revenge. I feel her murderous intent down to my very bones.
The look in her eyes makes my body freeze up, and fear ices its way through my veins. I try to breathe, but I can’t even remember how to.
“What do you plan on doing?” The question comes out as a whisper, the answer already known.
Jerking free of my grip, she heads toward the doorway of Dale and Joy’s bedroom. A place that makes me stop at the entrance. I can’t catch the shaky exhale that leaves my lips. Looking at their bed, I clutch the front of my shirt, trying to hold ontosomething.
Raven notices, and she lets out this laugh that doesn’t reach her eyes. Her painfully, misty eyes. “Here? Seriously? A married man going behind his wife’s back.” She pauses, shaking her head in disbelief. “Does Joy know? Is that why she wanted me to spend time with her? Were they in this together?”
I shake my head, leaving it at that. I don’t want her to think of the woman as anything but kind. She tried to be nice, unlike most. Tried to get Raven to open up to her, hoping money might be a way to do it when other ways hadn’t.
My sister has always had walls, leaving only cracks big enough for me to slip in.
