That’s the thing. I want to doeverything. However, if I get my hands on her, she’ll get scared again. I can’t let that happen again.
“Sure.” Nodding my head, I motion for her to lie down.
After pushing one of the pillows onto me so I can have some kind of comfort, she listens. Curling into my blankets, hugging them into her chest, she lets out the most contented sigh I’ve ever heard leave her lips.
I can’t let this go to my head. Can’t get used to this. Can’t let this become a distraction, either.
Tomorrow, if things go my way, Ghost will have the information I need. Hopefully, we can then make our move.
7
Penelope
Seven Years Ago
Everything is going to be okay.
As Raven drives us to the pharmacy, I claw at my thighs, trying not to squirm.
She’s going to be mad. She’s going to hate me.
I feel disgusting.
“About time you leave the house.” Muttering her thoughts, she scowls at the sky. It looks dark gray. She hates driving in the rain. “We have medicine at home, though. Do we really need to go?”
My nails dig deeper. “Thanks for being willing to take me.”
My body feels weak, my stomach clenching from emptiness. I tried to eat something this morning, but it came back up.
She purses her lips, rolling her eyes before tuning into the radio. Humming softly to the song, she nudges me to join her. I try, but I can’t put my heart into it.
The pharmacy comes to my rescue in more ways than one.
The woman at the entrance greets us with a welcoming smile. My palms cry in pain as I do the same.
Raven walks a step slower, letting me lead. We circle a few aisles.
“If you tell me what you’re looking for, I can help you find it.” Snagging a box of tampons, she stares at the fine print on the back. She makes this scoffing sound when I keep walking. She’s probably making guesses in her head, trying to figure out why we’re here.
We can play twenty questions if she wants, but I won’t be able to say it out loud. Being here is already too much, making what happened more real than it already is.
“Want to grab a snack while we’re here? They have those protein chips that slap. Cheddar cheese? Yes, please.” She keeps talking, filling the space with her voice, covering the panicking thoughts filling my head.
“No thanks.” My hands start feeling clammy. “Not hungry.”
Raven frowns, and I feel her eyes on me.
“Maybe a drink.” Trying to meet her in the middle, I think about it.
Do I need food in my stomach once I take the pill? What happens if I throw it up?
No food. No drink, either. I won’t take any risks.
The internet says this’ll work. It has to work. Is there an age restriction? I hope not. I should’ve looked into it better.
Taking one breath after another, I turn into the correct aisle and slow to a stop.
When we reach the section I’m looking for, Raven’s rambling goes to a complete halt. I don’t think I hear her take her next breath.
