A cold, hollow ache opens up beneath my rib cage, a perfect void the exact shape of that hunger.
If I’d picked a better person to give myself to, would I be like her? Uncaring and giggling? Trapped beneath the weight of a lover who doesn’t want to part ways?
Something that corny isn’t anything I’ve ever imagined for myself.
I sigh through my nose, hoping someone will dare come by the bar and order some kind of drink. I don’t care about the time of day or what they want. I just need an excuse to keep my hands busy and my mind occupied.
No one comes, though. I’m left to suffer alone with my stomach clenching despite such an emptiness threatening to swallow me up.
It’s not just my sister’s relationship that’s making my stomach clench up.
All the way at the end of the bar, Jinx sits. He wastes his time hovering, just as he has been. It’s been rather… annoying. Frustrating.
So I have my sister on one end torturing me, and the man I’m trying not to want on the other.
Can’t the guy take a hint? He doesn’t need to hover anymore. Yet, there he is, staring at me when he thinks I don’t notice. Watching me without saying anything. Hell, if he tried picking a fight, then at least I’d be able to tell him to go fuck off without being the bad guy.
He looks like a damn kicked puppy who wants attention. As of late, he’s turned into quite the loner, hasn’t he?
The sweetbutts have left him alone, not that I’ve tried to notice. I have to listen to them moan and groan all about it. If he’s lonely, he’s good-looking enough to go find company. For whatever reason, he doesn’t.
He chooses to sit here, waiting for me to give him any attention.
Deep down, I don’t want to mind. At the same time, if I give him what he wants, what’s going to stop him from moving on to another woman as soon as he’s satisfied?
I grimace as I recall how badly my chest hurt when he easily accepted Rosie’s touch.
Never in my life have I been hurt in such a way. It’s so stupid, really. My heart keeps getting in the way, aching or swelling. I wish it would make up its mind on what it wants.
Feeling his eyes on me even now, I bet he’s trying to figure out what I’m thinking. He’ll see the longing in my gaze and probably think he’s the solution to my problem. Then, he’ll get cocky. Throw a grin on his lips like he’s always done.
Hell, I don’t think I remember the last time he’s even laughed.
Maybe we’re both a little messed up after everything that has gone down.
Finally looking his way, he straightens up, and his mouth does this awkward upturn. As much as I regret it, this moment becomes far worse when his fingers move to his empty glass.
Penelope’s giggles are all the proof I need that I’m on my own. She’s not going to leave her boyfriend to refill a glass. The clubhouse catching on fire would not be enough to tear those two apart.
Plus, it’s not like I can keep avoiding him forever.
He’d make things a lot easier if he just went back to the way he used to be. Back to annoying the hell out of me, breaking things that I know were on purpose, and being someone who was a pain in my ass.
He basically had. Touching Rosie so easily was a good reminder of who I gave myself to. A man who likes to dip his toes whenever he pleases.
You told him it was just sex, Raven. You can’t be mad that he doesn’t want only you.
I guess giving him a piece of me came with more than I thought it would. It made me… want him. Not just the pleasures he brings, buthim. Ever since, my mood has been distastefully sour.
“Are you going to yell at me if I reach over the bar?” Popping my thought bubble by intruding, Jinx mimics doing the one very thing that’s agitated me so many times over in the past.
Maybe there is a small part of him that wants things to go back to normal. Or, he’s trying to do the one thing that’s guaranteed to get my attention.
Forcing me to reply, I scoff under my breath and approach. Trying not to breathe in the scent of fresh air clinging to him, I snatch his glass. “Let me guess, another water?”
He hasn’t gotten wasted left and right like before. Maybe that’s the problem? It’s like all the fun in him has gotten sucked out, leaving behind…thisperson.
There’s only one word that comes to my mind to describe him.Stalker.
