Something scratches under my skin at my chest, an obvious loneliness that I try not to give any attention to. It always comes by whenever someone tries to get close to me. I guess even when that person is forced to, I feel a twinge in my chest.
“I’m ready for normal.” Flopping down next to me, a low laugh leaves him. “This is stupid. We’re about to go straight into the heart of this madness, and here I am looking at fucking stars.”
I gave my first handjob and enjoyed it. The kiss, too. Gave away a lot of firsts today.
A laugh leaves me, my chest slowly feeling lighter and lighter. “Right? So fucking stupid.”
Our chuckles slowly die out before he sighs. “I should call her. Tell her I love her and all that, just in case someone shoots me. They’ll definitely try. I doubt they all have terrible aims.”
Closing my eyes, I shake my head before the weight of gravity targets my eyelids. “Now that’s stupid.”
They’ve been hooking up for how long? Pretty sure a love confession is the last thing she’d want to hear.
“If you die, you’ll make her feel worse. Trust me.” Mumbling the words, I’m met with silence. Better to be quiet than to hear him fumbling with his phone and breaking down if she rejects him.
I don’t need him ruining my high with that emotional shit. Hell, I’m trying my best not to think about my own feelings.
I’ve spent my whole life locking down certain ones to make sure I’m never weak. One guy wants to meddle, and all my work is coming undone.
Frustrating.
Knowing I should get up and make my way back to my room, the grass feels comfortable against my back. Each wisp of summer wind against every inch of exposed skin is my own definition of peace.
Warden continues to mutter his concerns, but after so many words, they sound further and further away until they disappear completely, and I’m finally out.
7
Jinx
Waking up alone in an empty room gives me what must be the closest I’ve ever come to a heart attack. Once the panic runs its course, the anger and annoyance seep in.
Can’t she just listen for once in her life? Why can’t she see that she’d be hurting the club if something happened to her?
What a pain in my ass. She’s what causes a pulse of pain behind my left eye.
Tossing the blankets off my body, I throw on clothes before starting my manhunt for her.
Trying not to bring any attention my way since I’m alone, I move in silence, popping my head in each room I think she’d be in. Once I’ve checked the back of the clubhouse, I move to the front.
As each minute continues to pass, I remain empty-handed. The few souls who eat their own cooked breakfast, a poor attempt at nutrition since Penelope has decided to sleep in, don’teven look my way. They look like they’re ready for their turn to get some rest.
I wish the panic rising in my chest would simmer down. With my ass on the line, I should freak out a bit, but that’s not all there is to it, is it?
What if Crimson Road did get their hands on her? What if she’s getting tortured? What if—
Realizing I’m starting to go down a bad train of thought, I reel back.
If someone tried to take her, one of ours would’ve heard. The whole place would be alert instead of likethis. Everything is fine. She’s fine. She can handle herself, I know she can.
Stepping outside, I check the garage next. The two bikes, both currently torn apart, rest all alone, no hints of life inside.
“Fuck.” I kick an abandoned wrench. “Fuck!”
I’m going to kill her when I find her. That way, I won’t have to worry about feeling this panic that’s forming in the pit of my chest.
Knowing well enough that I’m not going to find her by standing her and throwing a fit, I do a parameter check to see if there are any signs of life. Any proof of movement that isn’t ours.
If I don’t find her, I’ll break the news that I fucked up. Knowing it’s the last thing I want to do, I prepare myself to do a second sweep before getting to that point.
