I frowned. “I just counted them.”
“They’re trying to poison me, and you don’t even care.” My sister’s eyes filled with tears.
I was frustrated and tired, but I knew Catherine wasn’t just being difficult. She was ill. Managing her, or my mom, was like trying to catch a butterfly—I’d get close,but somehow they always slipped through my fingers. I sat down on the couch next to my sister. “Have I ever done anything to hurt you, Cat?”
She looked away but shook her head.
“And I never will. Look at me, Catherine.”
Her eyes met mine.
“The doctor is not trying to poison you. Those meds will help you feel better. Are you having trouble sleeping?”
She nodded.
“Do you feel anxious in your chest?”
She nodded again.
“Does everything feel too loud again? Like the TV and people talking?”
A tear streaked down her cheek, and she nodded more.
I held up the pill bottle. “These will make you feel better. But they take time to work, and you have to take them consistently.”
She still didn’t look sold, so I unzipped my backpack, pulled out my own pill bottle, and pointed to the label. “See the name here? I take pills, too, Cat.”
“Are you sick?”
“Not the kind of sickness you get, like a cold or the flu. I have something called PTSD. Post-traumatic stress disorder.” I rubbed over my breastbone. “I get that same anxious feeling in my chest sometimes—usually when I’m trying to go to sleep, and then I wind up staring at the ceiling all night. These help me when that happens. It makes me feel like I’m in control again.”
Catherine’s shoulders relaxed. She scooched closer to me on the couch and leaned her head on my shoulder with a sigh. “Are we going to be okay?”
“We are. But in our own way. Not everyone’s okay is the same.”
CHAPTER 28
Sutton
Jagger’s alarm went off at six the next morning, but I was already awake, lying on my side looking at him.
“Good morning.” I smiled.
He stretched. “I don’t remember the last time the alarm actually woke me up. I set it, but I’m always up before it goes off.”
“I’m glad you slept well.”
“You look like you’ve been up for a while.”
“Not too long. Maybe an hour.”
“Have you just been staring at me?”
“I’ve been thinking, actually.”
He kissed my forehead. “Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound good.”
I smiled again. “I want to come with you today.”
