He stayed quiet for a little too long. Then, "I don't know. Doyouthink it would work?"
"It might open the door, but they have intruder alarms. The hallway is a long one, with few places to hide, and completely dark when the lights are out. When they're on, there'd be too many Moles, and someone would scream."
"Yeah," he said, sounding like he wasn't surprised. "But what if diplomacy did work, Ayla?"
"Or what if Tobias betrayed us?" I asked, because that was one of the many worries spinning in my head. "What if he told the elders what Callah did, and they punished her for it? What if she's dead because I was dumb enough to trust a man?!"
"I'm a man," he reminded me.
"I meant a Mole," I assured him.
So he pulled me a little closer against his side. "Ayla, Holly doesn't think they're out here. That means they aren't."
"I know," I admitted. "I didn't really think they were, but I sorta hoped."
"Me too," he agreed. "I can't stop thinking about you girls when you both showed up. The fear, you know? I'd never seen anything like that in my life, and while you and Meri handled it differently, it was still there." He shifted, turning to face me. "Ayla, I've seen men die. I've faced certain death - and somehow survived it. I watched them kill myfather. Never, in all that time, had I seen the sort of fear that made you bolt and Meri scream."
"There are things worse than death," I said softly.
"And I wish I couldn't imagine what they are," he said, "butyousurvived them. So let's make a deal? If they don't come next time, you and I will go to them, okay?"
"But we can't get in!" I hissed.
"We can try the code you know," he said. "Or we can wait for a month, camping outside the doors where they won't see us. I've thought about that too. If we wait, someone will eventually come out. They have to at least get the tribute from the Reapers, right?If we need to, we'll take all the bullets, a few of the guns, and fight our way in so we can find her."
"Yeah?" I asked, feeling the faintest spark of hope.
"We'll probably die," he pointed out.
Which was true, but I still felt like I had to do something. "But we always kill more of them than they kill of us. Maybe it'd work?"
"Maybe," he agreed. "So let's agree to think about it, because I don't like this either." He reached up to brush my loose hair away from my face. "And because we might die, let's not tell Rymar or Kanik? They wouldn't understand. Instead, let's make sure they won't have any regrets, okay?"
"Yeah," I breathed. "Our cookout is tomorrow, and Kanik's nervous about it."
"Mhm," he agreed. "Rymar's excited, but you've already met his parents. Kanik's?" He breathed out a soft laugh. "He wants to show you off. His motherwillask about children, but just tell her Holly's enough for now. That will make her stop. I can't say the same is true for Rymar's mother."
I chuckled, remembering how intense she'd been. "But his fathers are nice, and his other mother too."
"Yep," Zasen agreed. "And we have seventeen days until the next attack. So let's make sure these are the best seventeen days of our lives, okay? Tell Meri how much you love her. Let her know you're proud of her. Kiss Kanik and Rymar, because they like that."
"And you don't?" I asked.
His tail flicked behind him. "Seventeen days, right? Means I have nothing to lose." He pulled in a deep breath like he was bracing himself. "Ayla, I wanted to hate you when I saw you, but the moment I shoved you to the ground so that coyote wouldn't eat you? I saw that fear. I knew something was different, butI tried to ignore it. And when you slapped me? I realized you weren't a spy. You were an escapee."
"Yeah," I agreed.
But he caught my chin, lifting my face so I had to look at him. "No, listen. I'm saying that the entire time you've been here, I've wanted to protect you. I also realized the moment your hand met my face that you didn'tneedmy protection. You needed my assistance, and those two things are not the same." A soft smile flickered across his mouth. "And my favorite color has become blue."
"Like your tail?" I asked, knowing it wasn't.
"Like your eyes," he breathed, sliding his thumb just under my lower lip. "Brighter than a summer sky, harder than steel, and softer than a cloud. Eyes that trap me every single time you look at me. So yes, I want to kiss you, but there's something I want even more."
"What?" I asked.
His dark tongue flicked over his lips. "I want to give you everything they took. The happiness, the trust, and the confidence to know you really do get to make your own decisions. Ayla, I've pushed you, and I thought you'd hate me for it..."
"I don't," I promised.
