"I'm a man. Drozel's a man. I had a big crush on him when we first met, and then I got to know him and fell in love. We've been partners for almost eleven years now."
"But you're Dragons," she said.
"People."
And everything about her changed. Meri blinked like I'd just thrown water in her face. A second later, her brow creased, her eyes dropped to a sunbeam on the floor, and she got very, very quiet.
"If marriages are only to produce children," I said softly, "then who you're attracted to wouldn't matter. You'd be equally repulsed by everyone for one reason or another."
Her head snapped over. "But Gideon was handsome! He was strong, and fit, and a good prospect!"
"Prospect," I repeated, picking out that word - but filing the rest away too. "He fulfilled the social ideals you wanted to achieve. He was attractive, which made his flirtations easier to accept, but would you have felt the same about an unattractiveman who wasn't as, um, prospectful? I don't know how you'd say it down there."
"No," she mumbled. "I didn't want to marry an elder. They're all old!"
"Because you weren't attracted to them," I explained. "But Gideon was handsome, and I think we all like the sexy ones. And yes, Drozel is very sexy. From his thick tail all the way up to his broad chest? I like those things. Maybe you do too, but Lessa is a beautiful woman. She has luscious curves, high cheekbones, and her coloration is stunning. Maybe something about the way she looks makes you wish you had it? Or want to look at it longer? Lips are a common one people mention about women."
"People?" she asked.
I nodded. "I am not attracted to women, Meri. None. Never. See, I'm gay."
"Happy or the other kind?"
Which made me chuckle. "Well, both, I suppose. But in this case, gay means I only like men sexually. I'm friends with women, but the same kind of friends you are with Ayla."
"Oh, but I'm not that sort of friends with Lessa?"
"Only you can answer that," I assured her. "And there's not a wrong answer. Jeera and Brielle are partners, Meri. They're no different than me and Drozel."
"But they have a boyfriend," she reminded me.
"Okay, a little different," I corrected. "Drozel likes men and women. Lessa likes men and women. I only like men. Ayla only likes men. There are some women who only like women, but most people are what we call polysexual."
"I'm getting confused," she admitted.
"There's homosexuals like me, and we call that gay. There's heterosexuals like Ayla, and you'd call those people straight. Then there are most people, who like what they like. And maybe that's mostly men but some women, or all women anda few special men, or it could be people who are androgynous in one way or another. The thing is, it doesn't matter. People - regardless of whether they have a tail or not - like what they like, and up here, we don't see anything wrong with it. So, could that be why the idea of living with Lessa feels weird?"
She chewed on her lower lip, mulling it over for a lot longer than I thought. "Could that be why I keep thinking it's too soon?"
"Possibly," I agreed. "I mean, the last person you liked - " I had to stop myself. "Theonlyperson you've liked before started out exciting, but then he betrayed you, hurt you, and you had to escape. That makes trauma, and I'm not surprised at all that Lessa would trigger the same feeling. She's loud. She's driven. She's always so sure about who she is and what she wants, and while that's appealing, it's also intimidating."
"Yeah," she breathed. "But how would I know?"
"If you like her romantically or platonically?" I asked.
"I don't know those words," she admitted. "Well, the second one."
"Platonically is 'just friends.'"
She nodded. "Like Ayla." That sounded like she was telling it to herself. "Like you?"
"I hope it's like me," I teased. "I mean, otherwise I have some bad news for you. Me and you? Meri, that's not going to happen. I'm very gay, and while I can see if a woman is beautiful, it's like you seeing clothing as beautiful. It's a different sort of beauty, and not the kind you want to kiss."
Her eyes jumped up and were too wide. "Oh."
Yeah, I wasn't sure what that meant. I had a feeling she was trying to figure all of this out, but she probably wouldn't, at least not in a day. Not after the way her husband had twisted love and attraction into a weapon. Not with all the shit the Molesdidto these women!
"It's okay to not know," I told her. "It's also okay to talk to me about it any time you want. I mean, I sometimes want someone to talk things out with, and that's why it's been nice having you around."
