"Did he kiss you?" Sylis whispered.
I nodded.
"Is that okay?" he asked next.
Again, I nodded. "It's allowed up here. When you like someone, you're allowed to kiss them - or more."
I knew that wasn't really what he meant, but I didn't want to confuse him. I was supposed to be the one explaining things to Sylis, not making a mess of it. I certainly didn't want to explain "cheating." Mostly because I didn't truly understand it myself. Right now, I was just going with what felt right - and that kiss? It had. It had felt like dreams and fantasies. It had been the sort of thing I'd started to believe men didn't really do.
Then Sylis asked the right question. "Did you like it?"
I giggled, nodding girlishly. I didn't tell him everything that had happened, but he knew. Sylis also said he was happy for me, and that one line carried me through the rest of the day. Myfriend was happy for me. Drozel wanted to kiss me. Those were great things, but I finally understood why Lessa had asked me about Drozel the day she'd become my girlfriend.
Because I couldn't decide if she'd be happy too or angry because I'd kissed her boyfriend. Never mind Omden! Yet when Omden got home, Drozel called him into their room, and I could hear the deep rumble of their voices. Not the words, sadly. No, they spoke too softly for that.
So after dinner, I decided I needed to handle this. I wasn't fragile - that was what I'd told Drozel - so I could do this. And when I let Omden know I was headed next door, he said I had this. He wasn't mad, and I was sure he knew by now.
But there was a feeling in my chest. I knew what I'd done. More importantly, I'd actuallydoneit. I had made a decision on my own, acted on it, and it had worked out for me. Well, I hoped it had. I couldn't be sure of that until I managed to tell Lessa, because Drozel said he wouldn't, and not telling her felt wrong.
Slipping around the house, I came in the back door of Lessa's place like I usually did. "Lessa?" I called.
"Meri!" she beamed from the main room. "I'm in here. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," I said, heading that way.
But when I reached the room, my feet stopped working. I liked Lessa. I really did, and I didn't want to mess things up. I wanted her to like me back, but I kept thinking about all the things girls had said when we were younger. How it was wrong to steal someone's man, and a good woman would never do that.
I had.
So I clutched my hands together, wringing them desperately as I tried to figure out the words that came next. Lessa was sprawled on the couch, with a pad of paper in her hands and pencils on the table beside her. The longer I was silent, the slower her pencil moved, until it finally stopped.
"Meri?" she asked, looking up.
"I..." Somehow, I forced myself to take a step closer. "Earlier, I was talking to Sylis."
"Okay?"
"And we were talking about boys. I mean men! Omden and Drozel. And it was when you and Ommy were out, and I was trying to help him with Vestrian and everything here."
"I can only imagine it's a lot to take in," she said gently, setting the paper aside so she could sit up.
I nodded. "But then Drozel woke up. He was sleeping late, and I guess he heard some, but we were being naughty, you know? Talking about muscles and stuff."
"Uh-huh..." Her eyes narrowed but stayed on me.
"And I went to get something, and Drozel was in the hall, and I, um, I kinda... um..."
She didn't say a thing; she simply lifted a brow.
"I looked at him the way you do, and then he told me to stop, but I said I wasn't fragile, and then he kissed me, and so I kissed him, and it kinda just happened!"
"And you're okay?" she asked.
"Lessa!" I huffed. "I kissed your boyfriend!"
She glanced away with a little chuckle. Then, after a pause, she pressed the back of her hand to her lips to smother another. Finally, she turned glistening eyes on me and patted the cushion beside her.
"Meri, he's Omden's partner. Droz is only my boyfriend."
