And her cheeks turned pink. "I like that she doesn't think I'm weak, that she's as excited about clothes as I am, and that she doesn't think I'm stupid when I ramble on when trying to explain things. I really like how she makes my heart race, and the way she kisses me? It's so different, which makes it easy to lose myself in it. But if I'm honest, sometimes I miss having a man kiss me hard."
"Maybe Drozel?" I tried, seeing if she'd backtrack as quickly as I had.
But Meri glanced away with a giggle. "Drozel's scared of me. He's always worried he's going to be too loud, or too rough. Idon't know. He just hasn't realized I'm not going to break. We didn't get that option, you know? And just because I want to be nice, and kind, and compassionate? That isn't the same as fragile."
"You are definitely not fragile," I agreed.
So she tapped my arm playfully. "And now you have no excuses, Sy." She grinned. "See, you have a nickname now too."
"Wait, I have no excuses?" I asked. "What do I need excuses for?"
"To like Omden," she said. "You should try flirting with him."
"No, I couldn't."
"You could!" she said. "Sylis, you'll never learn how if you never try. At least with Ommy, you know he won't laugh at you. At worst, he'd let you down gently."
"Oh." Because she had a good point. "But what do I do if he says no?"
"Then you accept it," she said. "That's the one thing I've learned up here. Dragons talk. They don't expect you to know things or just guess them. They say it, and then they accept the answer, even if they don't like it. And it's hard, but it's also..." She made a face, trying to think of the right word.
But I had it. "It's amazing," I said. "That word doesn't feel like enough, but I'm glad I'm here, Meri. And I'm glad you are too, because you make this so much easier."
She reached over, catching my hand in hers. "That's what friends do, and we're allowed to be real friends now."
And that? It was all I'd ever dared to hope for - but maybe it was time to dream a little bigger.
Seventy-Five
Drozel
The sound of my name woke me. Then I heard it again. Rubbing at one eye, I tried to figure out what was going on and heard Meri's sweet little voice. Sylis's silky one followed. When Omden's name was mentioned, I realized they were talking about us.
Sitting up, I stretched, taking my time about waking up. I'd spent a little time with Lessa last night. She'd told me all about her sleepover with Meri, and that it certainly had not been a platonic thing. I was truly happy for her. I also thought their thing was good for Meri, and my little Sparrow deserved a few good things in her life.
From there, I'd gone to arrange things for the militia now camping outside town, and then had come home to get tangled up in bed with Omden while it was still morning. In other words, I'd been a busy man - in the best way. The kind of busy that made me want to take my time about getting out of bed.
Then, from the other room, I heard Sylis say, "Meri, I've never been married! I wouldn't know about such things!"
And the giggle that followed? That little wisp of a woman had become something truly amazing. When I'd first met her, I hadn't been able to understand how she and Ayla were friends.I'd assumed it was the sort of thing that would fade away over time, now that they weren't forced to rely on each other.
It hadn't.
Instead, Meri had grown. When I thought about it, I always saw her as some sort of flower, reaching desperately for the light while growing in a pile of rocks, and all it had taken was a little water to make her bloom. Ayla? She was more like brambles, covered in thorns, but she'd kept Meri's delicate leaves from being destroyed somehow.
They were nothing alike, but they still needed each other. In many ways, they were like Omden and me, and I needed that man so much. I couldn't help but wonder what this Callah girl would be like, but I had a feeling she'd be different from either one.
Then Meri told Sylis, "But you think about it. You know you do!"
"I get stuck at what happens after he pulls me close," Sylis admitted. "I... Meri, the only person I've ever kissed was Tobias, and that doesn't even count. It wasn't even as much as a wedding kiss! I tried, he pulled away, and that was that."
"I used to wish for a man to press me against the wall," Meri said, "and then take what he wanted, you know? Maybe that was because I didn't know either? Because when Gideon tried..."
I snarled under my breath, wishing I could hack that man's balls off and offer them to Meri as a trophy. I'd hang his damned tongue between them, just on principle, then mount it all where she could see and gloat. She fucking deserved nothing less!
"I'm sorry..." Sylis told her, making me like the man a bit more. "That’s why Tobias and Callah are lawfully wedded friends. He hates the idea of hurting her."
"It doesn't always hurt," Meri insisted. "I mean, sometimes it's okay. With the right person, it's amazing."
