"Give her some salmon," Lessa decided for me. "She'll like the rice with cheese too. I'll have the same, but extra lemon."
"I can do that," Ulrik said. "And is this a beer kind of visit? Flavored drinks? Wine?"
Lessa glanced at me, paused, then shook her head. "Let's keep it to something flavored."
"I'll be right back." And he left.
Lessa watched him go, rubbing her hand across her mouth. A moment later, I saw her tail flick out from under the table, then back. That was a sign of nerves. Unfortunately, it also mademenervous.
Just when I was ready to ask what was wrong, she blurted out, "Meri, would you consider being my girlfriend?"
Everything slowed. My lips curled. Something heavy felt like it was lifted from me, and I was nodding before I could even think of the words. "Yes. I think I'd like that very much. I don'treally know what a girlfriend does, and I'd rather not get married again, but if it's like you and Drozel, then yes."
"Yeah..." She rocked her head from side to side. "Me and Drozel are complicated."
"Not really," I said. "You like him. He likes you. Omden likes that you two like each other. It actually makes a lot more sense to me than how the Moles did things. I mean, you can change your mind if Drozel ever gets angry and hits you!"
"You do know he'd never do that, right?" she asked. "Not me, not you, and probably not even Sylis."
"I know," I assured her, "but that's the problem with people. We all think we know what we'll do, but we don't really. We hope, and we try, but in the moment, it all comes down to when we snap."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Well," I said, "I always said I'd never lie, but when it came down to it, I told the worst lie I could imagine in order to get free. See, there's a line. It's the 'until' part that we always forget. You'd never hate me - until I do something unforgivable. That sort of a thing. And the problem with Mole men is that their 'until' always ends with 'they get angry.' That's what makes them so evil."
"Wow," she breathed. "Okay, I've never looked at it like that, but you're right." And she huffed out a dry laugh. "So very right. I also think Drozel and Omden have very high 'until' levels."
"Me too," I agreed. "But you do too, usually."
"Me?" She scoffed.
I nodded. "That's one of the things I like about you. You have limits, which you make clear to everyone, and when someone doesn't know about it, you don't hold it against them. Your 'until' seems to be 'they hurt someone you care about,' and that's actually a really good thing, Lessa."
"This," she said, reaching over for my hand, "is what makes you so amazing. Meri, most people think I'm a bitch."
"You are," I said with a smile. "You are strong and amazing. I like that part too. It's like nothing at all scares you."
"And you never lash out," she said, but the smile on her lips was just as big as mine. "Meri, you have this ability to keep surprising me over and over. I mean, after everything that's happened to you, somehow you have nothing to offer but kindness and compassion." Her thumb brushed across my hand. "And you have really good taste in clothes."
Which made me laugh. "Okay, I like that too. So what does it mean to be your girlfriend?"
"Well..." She lifted a finger, pausing as the man returned with our food and a pair of drinks. He set those out then left again, and she picked up where she'd left off. "Meri, being someone's girlfriend usually lets the other person know they can kiss you when they want. Well, mostly. Within reason. It means we can hold hands, or embrace, or curl up together on the couch without it being weird."
"What about sex?" I asked.
She shrugged, trying to look both casual and smug at the same time in an adorable way. "I mean, that's one of those things that's up to you. I don't usually wait for the dating part. I just do it when I want to." And then her smile slipped. "But I do need to ask your opinion on the guys."
"I like the guys," I hurried to assure her.
"I mean me dating - " And she stopped hard. "Fuck. Yeah, I guess I am dating Drozel too." And she waved that away. "Does that bother you?"
"Nope," I said. "Lessa, Ayla used to read these books, back when we were girls. She'd tell me about the amazing men who'd fall in love with a girl and propose to her, and then they'd live 'happily ever after.' That was what I wanted. Still want. I mean, I know it's not as simple as the stories make it out to be, but this little part of me hopes to find someone who can make me feelcomplete. Someone who is my match - and you've already done that. You match Drozel, and Drozel matches Omden, and I'd like to think that maybe I can match you."
"Yeah," she breathed. "Just promise me one thing?"
"Anything," I swore.
"Tell me if it bothers you, or if you want more time with me, or less, or anything else?"
