"And it was out of line!" he snapped. "It's no better than Zasen kissing her when she said no! You've made it clear you're not into men, and then there I was, grinding against your ass, grabbing your hip like I wanted more, and getting too fucking close!"
I heard him, but none of that made sense. No, wait. It did. It actually made so much fucking sense, I'd taken it for granted.
Rymar was the man everyone thought they wanted. He was attractive, wealthy, and had actual power in Lorsa. He was a rising politician, and one people actuallyliked. Dozens of people sought him out for a little fun, hoping to catch his interest, and time after time, they all failed - because they didn'tknowhim.
Most didn't want to.
But I knew this man. I knew his flaws and weaknesses. I'd seen him at both his best and his worst. I'd held him as he cried so hard, snot ran into his mouth. I'd made him soup when he'd been sick. I'd lied to his mother, his latest fling, and even his boss. He'd carried my body across town when I'd been hurt. He'd let me cry it out on his shoulder when I'd been dumped. He'd also been the first one to celebrate when I'd gotten my position as a teacher.
"Rymar," I said, reaching over to clasp his knee. "I think the part you can't wrap your mind around is that I do love you. No, not romantically, but I love you like family. I respect the shit out of you - and not for the reasons most do. I respect you because of this. Because under all your charming smiles and impressive speeches, you're still the guy who will worry himself sick over a friend. I do love you, Rymar, I just don't love you the way you want."
"No!" he hurried to say. "I know that. I do, Kanik. I'm just so used to fucking things up with people that..." He glanced away and laughed once, but it was a dry sound. "I don't want to fuck it up with you, okay? Youaremy partner. I'm thrilled that wefound someone who wants all three of us, and I don't want to be the reason this gets messed up."
"No messing up," I assured him. "But maybe, just maybe, you can stop worrying about it? I promise I don't care if your dick's hard around me. I don't think you'll take advantage of me. Shit, look at how you fought for Ayla! You've proven yourself, and you know what? I trust you. I have trusted you since we were kids." Then I murmured and rocked my head around in a vague gesture. "And so you know, when I thought I'd never have a chance with anyone, knowing you think I'm interesting at all? Yeah, it kept me from giving up."
"And now we have her," Rymar said, looking like he was finally relaxing.
"Yeah," I agreed. "We go and make a family with the one woman who doesn't care about any of the things we're so damned worried about ourselves."
"That's actually a good point," Zasen said as he took the log I'd been using earlier. "She doesn't care if I'm rash, abrasive, or obsessed with stopping the Moles. She isn't impressed by Rymar's money or status, and she happens to like brown a lot, Kanik."
"Yeah, she does," I agreed.
"But..." he said, holding up a hand to keep us from interrupting him. "You both need to knowwhyshe was so happy. I didn't bring it up because I got the impression that problem was, well, what it was."
"Okay?" Rymar asked.
Zasen grunted at him. "You are predictable, Ry. You've also talked to me about the 'Kanik problem' quite a few times."
"I'm a problem?" I asked.
"Him being into you too much," Zasen clarified. "He never believed me when I told him you weren't bothered by it."
"Believe it," I told Rymar.
"Trying," he assured me. "And I'll still be worried about it. The same way I'm worried about pushing Ayla too far. I want to respect your boundaries, Kanik, not walk all over them. You're one of my best friends. The last thing I want to do is be shitty about it."
"And you aren't some sex-crazed lunatic," I reminded him. "This thing between us isn't new. I can't count how many times I've told you it doesn't bother me, and yet here we are again. I'm serious, okay? It's flattering. Shit, flirt if you want. Ayla might appreciate seeing how it's done. Rymar, I. Do. Not. Care."
"She could use a few examples," Zasen said, "because she was pretty blunt with me today."
Those words had both of us giving him our complete attention.
"What do you mean?" Rymar asked.
At the same time, I wanted to know, "What did you do?"
Zasen pointed at me. "I went down on her." Then to Rymar. "Like she asked."
"She asked for that?" Yeah, I couldn't see that happening. Ayla didn't have the first clue about anything intimate.
But Zasen rocked his hand. "She said she wasn't scared anymore. It sorta went from there. I'm pretty sure that when she pulled off her shirt, she had other ideas. I tried to slow her down. She tried to make it clear she didn't want that." And he smiled. "But she knows what an orgasm is now."
"Good for you," Rymar told him. "And... she was okay?"
"She's decided she can do that more often," Zasen said. "She's also been asking about when something is okay. Not allowed socially, but okay with the three of us. Like sleeping in my bed, then against Rymar, and then with Kanik here. She wants to make sure she's not going to ruin this thing we have, so I think we should all offer up the bits most of us take for granted. You know, like how both of you can do the same thing I just did."
I leaned forward. "And what exactlydidyou do?" A chuckle slipped out. "Not because I'm prying, but because I want to know where the new line is."
