The dress was yellow. The color was soft and pale. Thousands of delicate stitches adorned every seam, creating ornate shapes that turned into beautiful patterns. Brown was the most common color, but green and blue stood out. Around my neckline were pink accents, mixed with white. I was pretty sure those were little hearts.
"It's beautiful," I told Deenah and Helah, the women who'd made it.
"We wanted to make sure you're the most beautiful bride today," Helah explained. "Callah, Tobias is going to be so smitten."
But Deenah moved closer, reaching out to catch my hand. "Do you know what to expect tonight?"
"Yes and no," I admitted.
Because the truth was, I did understand the mechanics of consummation. I simply didn't know if I'd have to worry about it. Tobias had promised this was a marriage of friendship. We were only playing at being husband and wife for the protection it offered.
I also knew men lied.
Gideon had been charming and romantic before he wed Meri. Then he'd held her down. Worse, she couldn't even complain about it because that was a wife's place! Her job was to provide for his needs.Allhis needs, from cleaning to childbearing. This was the fate God had given us, and no matter how much I tried to convince myself Tobias wasn't like that, I couldn't actually be sure.
"Just close your eyes and pray," Deenah said. "He will finish the act quickly. You will likely bleed, but it will end fast. You can use that to put him off until the next day."
"Okay," I mumbled, feeling my face heating at discussing such things. "Thank you."
"You're going to be fine," Helah insisted. "Tomorrow, you will be a wife, not a girl. We've done our best to make sure there's always a woman in the facilities, just in case any of you newlyweds need help."
Then it was time for me to change. I put on my finest underthings. Over that went a twice-bleached chemise. But when I slipped the dress over it, the cut of it made me suck in a breath. The neckline was low enough to show the top of my chest. The edges of my collar bones stuck out too!
"Will the elders let me wear this?" I asked, spinning so the women could see. "It's gaping!"
"That's not gaping," Helah assured me. "It's elegant."
"And yes," Deenah promised, "it is allowed. We sewed right to the limits of the respectable boundaries, but we wanted to make sure everyone sees you get married."
To make sure they knew I wasn't like my roommates. The women didn't say that part, but I could feel it hanging in the air between us. Both of the girls I'd shared a room with had been banished from the compound. They were said to have been taken by the devil, but I knew better.
And my friends suspected. We'd never been able to truly talk about it, but I'd hinted enough they weren't under any delusions. Meri and Ayla were nowfree. They'd found a way out, and if I panicked, these women had said they'd both call for my banishment.
As much as I wanted that, I knew I couldn't. Someone had to help them - and all the other women down here - and I was the only person able to do it. Tobias could bring me messages from above. I knew most of the girls still in sermon. I was about to become a wife.
I was the only person in the entire compound who had a chance of stopping the atrocities down here. To do that, I had to get married first. I would give myself to a man I thought of as a friend. Unfortunately, for the Righteous, men and women were never friends.
The pair was busy buttoning the back of my gown when a hand pounded on the door. "Callah!" That was Ms. Lawton's voice. "It's time to go."
She didn't stay to wait for a response. A moment later, I heard her yelling at another girl, so I knew this was the summons for all of us.
"A ribbon for your hair," Helah said, twining my long pink-gold hair up into a proper bun.
"And a gift for your safety," Deenah whispered, sliding a long pin through the ribbon and into my hair. "That will keep it from falling apart, and might poke just hard enough to back your husband off."
"And make it into the wedding suite with me," I realized. "I only need one more thing."
Opening a drawer, I clasped the small pocket knife Tobias had given me as a gift. The blade on it was shorter than my pinky finger, but it would still pierce. He'd told me to use it if I needed to, but where could I put it?
Evidently, glancing down at my own body tipped Deenah off. "There's a small pocket here," she said, showing me. "I thought you might want to carry a Bible or something."
"This is a knife."
"Which is much better than a Bible," she said. "Now I know you'll be safe tonight."
The pair smiled knowingly, but it was time. Helah opened the door. Deenah made a fuss of straightening my dress a bit more, and then the pair guided me into the hall. Nine other girls were lining up at the end near the dining hall. Ms. Lawton stood at the front, gesturing to the places we should take.
"Callah?" she said when I was close enough. "You will be at the back, left side."
