"Is that how you see me?" His voice is quiet but there's steel beneath the softness of his tone. "Just a little bitch who needs an Alpha? Who wanted an art degree, and his daddy told him no?"
Fuck. That's not what I meant. That's not how I see him at all. I stand quickly, realizing my mistake even as the words hang in the air between us. "Ashton—"
"No, I want to know." He twists away from me, his shoulders rigid despite the pain he must be in. "Is that what I am to you? Just another victim you're protecting out of obligation?"
I move toward the door, intending to help him over to the horse we rode here on. We need to get back before his father sends someone looking for us, before this situation gets even more complicated than it already is. "You know that I don't see you like that."
Those words don't come close to expressing what I actually think about him, how I actually see him. But I've never been good with words and have never been able to articulate the things I feel in ways that make sense to anyone else.
"And I like your art," I add, because that much I can say honestly.
I have many of Ashton's doodles tucked away in a small book in my room, treasures I've collected over the months I've worked here. Little sketches he's left lying around, drawings on napkins or scraps of paper that he throws away without thinking twice. I've kept them all, each one a glimpse into the creative mind that his father tries so hard to suppress.
Ashton turns to face me, something shifting in his expression. "Then why would it be so hard to take a step forward?"
Before I can process what he means, he moves, rising up on his tiptoes to press his lips against mine. The kiss is soft and hesitant, asking a question I'm not sure I know how to answer.
I go ramrod still, frozen by the contact and the implications of it. "I'm not..."
"No?" Ashton pulls back, his eyes searching my face. "Then I must have read all those signals wrong. All the nights you held me close, that was just for protection? All the nights you stepped in, making sure no one hurt me worse than they already had? Sure, you work for my dad, and I'm an asset, so you were just what... making sure the goods were intact?"
Each word lands like a blow, stripping away the excuses I've been hiding behind for months. He's right. Every single thing he's saying is true, and we both know it.
"Stop telling me lies," Ashton finishes, his voice breaking slightly on the last word.
He turns and tries to climb onto the horse we left tied outside, clearly intending to end this conversation. But he can't quite manage it on his own, wincing as the movement pulls at his stitched side. Ashton lets out a small yelp and doubles over before straightening up and trying again.
Stubborn Omega.
I move forward, my hands coming up to steady him and help boost him into the saddle, both legs draped over the side facing me. He struggles to sit up and then gives in, leaning to the side along the horse’s mane, the next several minutes held in complete silence because I don't know what to say. My stepbrother said the same thing in so many words just minutes ago. And now Ashton sees it too, wading through all my careful deflections to the truth underneath.
I care about Ashton.
But love? Or wanting to be his Alpha? Those are bigger questions, ones with implications I'm not ready to face. Being Ashton's Alpha would mean standing up to his father, standing against the entire network of criminals and dangerous people that Charles Driscoll commands. It would mean putting both of us in danger, making us targets for everyone who wants to get to his father through his son.
I hook my bag over my shoulder and climb onto the horse behind Ashton, settling into the saddle. He immediately leans back against me for support, the ride back to the house just as silent, neither of us speaking as the horse picks its way through the darkening woods.
As we get closer to the house, I can't hold the question back anymore. "Are you going to tell me who the fuck it was?"
Ashton shakes his head. "Not a chance. Because the moment I do is the last time I'll see you. My father will have your head and I'm not sure what will happen when you're gone."
Shit.He's protecting me by keeping the name to himself, taking on the danger alone rather than putting me in his father's crosshairs. It's exactly the kind of selfless stupidity that makes me want to shake him and hold him close at the same time. But he’s also looking out for himself in some twisted way because we both know what will happen when I’m gone.
And it isn’t good.
A small growl rumbles through my chest, cut off by Ashton’s sharp laughter.
"I'm durable.”
I pull the horse into the stable, dismounting quickly before helping Ashton down. He immediately pushes off my help, trying to stand on his own, the Omega hobbling toward the back entrance of the house where his room sits.
"You're not supposed to have to be durable, Ashton,” I push out, hating that there isn’t much more I can do. No doubt his father will be looking for me at some point so holding Ashton until he falls asleep is out of the picture. I’m not even sure Ashton would allow me to after I so readily denied that there was anything building between us.
He pauses at the threshold, turning to look at me with eyes that have seen too much pain for someone his age. "And if I'm not, I'm dead."
The simple truth of it hits me like a punch to the gut. In this world, in his father's house, being anything less than durable means being disposable. And disposable Omegas don't last long.
I follow him to his room, watching as he lowers himself carefully onto his bed. It takes him several moments to get comfortable, every wince drawing a little bit more of my anger to the surface. Once he’s finally found a position, he looks up at me, exhaustion written in every line of his face. "I'm tired and worn out and I don’t really want to argue with you," he says quietly. "I can see how you feel in your eyes, but you're not ready. Or you think you're protecting me or something. But I can't get any more hurt than I already am. Right now,you'rethe one hurting me. Please go."
