She bounced up and headed into the bathroom. Within minutes, she had washed herself and was back to wash me.
When she finished, she took the washcloth to the bathroom and returned to lay in the crook of my arm. “See, I don’t need a book to get nasty. I can do that on my own.”
“Sure it wasn’t that book that got your li’l ass all hot and bothered?”
She smiled and winked at me. Pinching her thumb and index finger together, she answered, “Maybe a little.”
“Get your ass up here so we can catch some sleep.”
“But of course.” She curled up against me and stared into my eyes. “I love you, baby,” she murmured sleepily.
“I know you do. I love you more, li’l bit.”
“Impossible,” she replied through a yawn.
“Definitely possible,” I whispered, brushing the backs of my fingers against the curve of her cheek. Her breathing evened out as I adjusted her bonnet on her head. I stared at Chanel for several minutes, wondering why it had taken me so long to find the true love of my life. I realized it was because I was determined to make my childhood love work. I was in denial about anything else.
ONE WEEK LATER
“.. . his question was one we might pose ourselves today. When we think about how people treat us, cuss us out, use us, talk about us, and all the variations of how we can be offended, we might easily find ourselves posing the same question that Peter did. ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.’ Can you imagine someone slapping you in the face repeatedly and you having to forgive them over and over again? I know that some of you might say, Pastor French, you’ve lost your mind.
“But that’s exactly what Christ calls us to do. Forgive over and over again. Now, I’m not saying be a fool, but as long as you have people around you, they’re going to make mistakes. Eventually, you need to separate yourselves from the person, but if you’re in a situation where you cannot, then forgive. Your mother, father, sister, brother, spouse, grandma, co-worker, boss. Forgive. There are times when you need to exit the situation, so use spiritual discernment when it’s time to exit stage left.
“I’m not telling you to remain in an abusive situation or a controlling one, but I am saying forgive. Even if you have to leave, you need to forgive. The world says you should forgive because it’s for you and not the offender. But the Word of God says that if you forgive others of their trespasses, then your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you don’t, then neither will He. So what will you choose today?”
I glanced at Ashton, and I wondered if he was thinking about Zoe. I was thinking about Darius and the hurt he heaped on me with his cold words and brutal actions. I chewed on my bottom lip wondering what that would look like. I knew that didn’t mean that he had to be in my life again, but what did it mean?
I believed that it meant I would be empowered, free of the shame of not being able to conceive, and open to truly experiencing love again without the worry of being hurt. I glanced at Ashton again, and he smiled at me. Our fingers were interlocked, and he brought them up to his lips and kissed my knuckles.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you more.”
“Impossible,” he whispered back. I smiled and turned my attention back to the pastor. We sat quietly throughout the rest of the sermon, and when the service was over, Ashton introduced me to some of his church family. There were othercelebrities in the congregation, so they treated him like a regular person. We stood at the end of a long line of people who wanted to speak with the pastor and first lady. When it was finally our turn, Ashton introduced me.
“Pastor French, remember the young lady I was telling you about?”
“I know Chanel Dubois. Well, I don’t know her, but I watch her all the time, and I enjoy your take on the sports,” the pastor declared.
“Thank you, Pastor French.”
“You’re welcome. Do you two mind stepping in my office so that I can have a word with you?” he asked.
Ashton glanced at me, and I nodded. “Sure.”
We followed the pastor and his armor-bearer back to the pastor’s office. The armor-bearer excused himself and closed the door behind him.
We took a seat in two burgundy velvet covered armchairs near a fireplace. The pastor sat in one slightly larger opposite ours.
“You two have been the focus of plenty of attention on social media and in the sports world lately. Sometimes, attention can be good or bad, and sometimes, it’s what we make of it. What I mean by that is, some people want attention, no matter if it’s good or bad, because they can take the bad and turn it into good. What are you two going to do with all this attention?”
“Pastor, honestly, I’m good with letting it die down. That’s what usually happens in these situations,” Ashton explained.
“Meanwhile, I’ve been hiding out and making posts as time permit online to distract from the negative.”
“May I pray over you two?” Pastor French asked.
Again, Ashton squeezed my hand and looked to me. I knew he wasn’t looking at me to make the decision, but to ensure thathe understood what I wanted, and we were aligned. I loved how he respected my feelings too.
