“That shit’s not right. He had the nerve to call you when all this shit started going down?”
I nodded.
“Do you know why you can’t have children, or is it him, and his punk ass was too afraid to find out?”
“No, it was me. I had cancer as a teenager, and the cancer and treatments left me infertile. I told him about the cancer, but I never knew about my infertility until after we had been trying for a while. Unfortunately, Darius didn’t believe me, and he accused me of duping him into a marriage under false pretenses. I never did that, and I never could do that. It’s the reason why I don’t want a serious relationship, because I never want to hurt or deprive a man of a future. I never knew that I couldn’t have kids until I was tested.”
“What about surrogacy and adoption? Y’all weren’t open to those options?”
“Darius was never open to it. I would have been in time, and I told him that.”
“Then that’s that nigga’s loss. I don’t want you feeling no type of way about that shit, and as far as relationships are concerned and depriving anyone of anything, the worst thing that you could do is deprive a man of your love and affection. You’re perfect just the way you are, Chanel. Come on.”
“Where are we going?” I asked when he took my hand and led me out of the pool area. He dripped water along the floors as we stepped into the main hallway.
“Back to the kitchen where we can fix our plates and eat. You and I have a lot to talk about.”
“Like?”
“Like what we’re going to do about these rumors, what we’re going to do about this stalking situation, what we’re going to do about what happened last night, and what we’re going to do about our feelings.”
“There’s nothing we can do about the rumors other than to let them die down or address them. Either way, it’s going to be painful, Ashton. To address them means telling the truth about Muffin and her cheating on you. What worries me about that, is that it will look like you’re creating allegations to paint yourself in a different light or to excuse your behaviors.”
“I’m not worried about that shit.”
“Well, I am, because what’s the point of addressing them if they’re not going to help, but make matters worse? The stalker issue is being handled. We can’t do anything about that but be safe and pray they will catch the person soon. As it relates to what happened last night, it was a one-off. We were emotional, horny, and we were there for each other’s needs, nothing less or more and?—”
“Don’t do that shit, Chanel.”
“Do what, Ashton?”
“Objectify me or you. It was more than that, and you know it. I’m calling you on that bullshit because what I realize is that you’ve been feeling a brother for a minute. I may have friend-zoned you in the beginning, but I was going through a divorce.”
“And you’ve just finalized one. Too soon.”
“I may have just finalized it, but I’ve been single for a while. My emotions were not involved in my marriage for years, but I vowed to respect her as long as she was my wife, and that shit didn’t matter if it was in name only. I fucked up one time. I wasn’t about to keep doing that shit.”
“What makes it any different with me?”
“I respected you. I would never put you in a category of a one-night stand or a jump-off, Chanel.”
I was grateful that he felt that way because I had worked hard to build a name for myself in the industry. While I was willing to verbally disregard last night as a one-off, I didn’t feel that way in my heart.
“Okay.”
“Okay, what?”
“I won’t do it again.”
“Not even sure why you did it in the first place.”
“Because I have taken the ultimate rejection in my life, and I don’t do well with it. It’s easier for me to reject someone than be rejected.”
He pushed his plate aside and leaned forward. “And you thought I was going to do that to you?”
“I wasn’t sure.”
“You’ve been around me long enough to know me a little better than that by now.”
