He turned to look at me with his hands on his hips. “I’m guessing you saw it then, huh?”
“If you’re referring to Muffin’s interview on that trash show, then yes, I did.”
He sighed and dragged his hand down his face. “I was hoping that you didn’t.”
“Well, my father made sure I did.”
“Shit. They didn’t say anything about it.”
“Because I begged them to let me handle it with you and for them not to get involved.”
“I’m sure they’re not too fond of me.”
I handed him his bowl and plate and shook my head as I led the way to the living room. “No, my parents are more adult than that. Me, on the other hand, wasn’t feeling very adultish. Or maybe I should say my mama was the only adult. She wantedme to trust that it would all pass in time, and my daddy wanted to beat the shit out of someone. To quote him, he didn’t give a damn who it was.”
“Dayumm!”
“Right. I want to deal with it, but I’m not sure what the right way would be. No matter what I think about, it seems that it will create more problems than it would solve. It just hurt that she flat out lied on you like that.”
“Hurt?” he asked, staring at me as though he thought he misheard me.
“Yes, Ashton. It hurt, because I do care about you. You’re genuinely a good guy.”
“Chanel, I’m not completely innocent,” he stated after we sat down.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
He pushed his food aside and leaned forward to rest his forearms on his knees. “I did cheat on Muffin before. She never forgave me. But I understand why it was hard for her to forgive me. When we were still in our teens, I got Muffin pregnant. My mama thought we were too young to have kids, so she and my dad took me to visit Muffin and her mom.
“My mama thought it was best for her to have an abortion, and when she got Muffin’s mom’s blessing, it was a wrap. Neither one of us put up a fuss about it until the day she went to get the procedure. Muffin didn’t want to, and when I brought it up, they let me know that we were too young to know what was in our best interest. In the end, we went along with it.
“Then she learned I had gotten another girl pregnant who I was cheating on her with around the same time. My mama did the same thing with her, but the girl wasn’t trying to have a kid anyway.”
“Wow.”
He looked down and closed his eyes briefly. I could tell there was more. I rested my hand on his shoulder, and he looked up at me.
“Ash, what is it, honey?”
“Nothing,” he replied gruffly.
“I know you’re probably worrying about keeping secrets and being loyal, but I’m your friend. I promise that you can trust me. Whatever you say will remain between us and not in some damn article or anything. You need someone who can help carry the load sometimes. Right now, like it or not, it’s you and me against the world.”
He turned his head sideways and looked me up and down. I could tell that he was trying to determine how much he could trust me with. His shoulders sagged, and he turned away from me. I watched as he struggled with himself until he dropped his face in his hands. A minute later, he lifted his head again.
“We tried to have kids a few years later, and we couldn’t. I learned recently that she found out a few years ago that she couldn’t have kids because of the scar tissue from the abortion. She never trusted me with the truth. Instead, she resented me, my mama, and the entire situation. She held that against me, and that’s why she started cheating.”
I felt sick. My stomach lurched, and my head swirled. I dropped my head in my hands as I thought about my own situation. The only thing I wanted to do was run and bury my head in the sand. But I chose to remain by his side, because he needed a friend. Although this wasn’t about me, it felt like it was.
Stretching my hand forward, I whispered, “I’m sorry that you both went through that.”
“Yeah. Doesn’t give her a reason to be the way she was or do what she’s doing now, especially dragging your name. But I’m not worried about that, because that shit’s about to be dead.”
“Don’t, Ash.”
His jaw clenched, and we sat in silence for a while. He eventually resumed eating, and when I finished my food, I stared at my feet. I had removed my boots upon coming into the house and my socks after we sat down to eat.
“I need a damn pedicure. I should’ve been doing that while I was in Cherokee. Guess I’ll have to give myself one. Thank God I brought my equipment with me.”
