He wants to understand why I did it.How can I tell him that not even I know why I did such a stupid thing?
“He tracked me down to my college in Canada.I guess time and distance had taken the sting out of my bitterness… it made me weak and susceptible to his salesman patter.He even brought his parents to say that it was their idea to sic their lawyer on me and contact the university.They took all the blame.It was quite overwhelming to have all three of them begging me.”
Theron’s eyes narrow in focus.
“Let me guess.You never really trusted him, that’s why you didn’t share all your secrets with him.When you tried to imagine yourself being with him in the future, you couldn’t.He went back to his old ways relatively quickly.You dropped out and got off the radar.Does that about sum it up?”
Groaning, I look up at the tented ceiling so I don’t have to look him in the eyes.
“Ugh!Yes.That’s why I’ve been on the run, Theron.I couldn’t stand to face the truth.I’m a failure and a fool.”
Falling onto his back, Theron offers me the nook of his arm to snuggle against.He knows how much I love the smell in there.That special masculine whiff reassures me that this vampire was once human like me.
“It is a woman’s prerogative to change her mind whenever she wants to, sweetheart.It’s up to those who love her to sway her opinion if they think she’s making the wrong move.Isn’t that how it’s meant to go?”
That gets my attention.
“Is that what you were trying to do with me?”
Theron has no immediate snappy comeback to that.I can hear the wheels turning in his mind as he tries to make sense of how our conversation led back here.I want to prompt him to say something, but I think it’s time for me to listen.
Eventually, Theron speaks.
“Maybe I used the wrong words.It should have been ‘offer advice.’Perhaps ‘swaying someone’s opinion’ sounds too manipulative.”
For a vampire, he is very insightful… but then he continues to muse out loud.
“However, I believe it would be foolish of us to forget that part of my arsenal of seductive weapons is to be able to charm a woman into offering herself to me.I’m not allowed to satisfy my hunger with her otherwise.”
How is it possible for him to be so attractive and yet repulse me at the same time?I must never forget that Theron is a vampire first and a lover second.
“You sound like a complete psycho when you say things like that, Theron.”
He cuddles me.“Thank you.”
I have to laugh.I mean, what else can I do?I get back to explaining about one psycho to the other psycho lying next to me.
“I hadn’t changed my mind about Piers when he popped back into my life.I think he just wore me down.I kept saying to myself, ‘One more week and his true nature will show itself,’ and damn if I wasn’t right.”
Theron stays quiet.He’s leaving it to me to elaborate if I want to.
This is so embarrassing.
“I gave him a long list of our new boundaries.No abuse.No invasion of my privacy.And no pushing me to commit.Strictly one day at a time.No exceptions.Like probation.”
“Sounds fair.”
Trailing my fingers down the line of dark hair that grows from his belly to his crotch, I think back to that crazy day I went on the run.
“I will tell you what it was that made Piers lose it.After all his hard work stalking me down, pleading for me to take him back, accepting all my rules—basically humiliating himself—it didn’t go back to how we were before.”
Theron accepts this.
“Yeah.How could it?He was in love with his memory of you, not the real you.”
“A fantasy.Yes.For Piers, it was all about the hunt and the possession.The trophy girlfriend, not the person.When we first met, I was the hot new girl on campus, and he was the social director.Everyone wanted to be near us or be us.”
“Guess he was pissed he fucked it up.”
