I remember the conversation we had distinctly.
“This is a surprise, sweetie.Where are you going?”
Not even bothering to look at me, Giulio had ripped off the Band-Aid quickly.
“Back to Italy.Mama needs me.”
Edging over to the side table, I’d put the key fob down gently.“Oh, no!I’m so sorry to hear that.Is… is she okay?”
“No, she’s fine.”
I waited for him to elaborate, but Giulio was not very forthcoming.I could tell from the way he kept glancing at his phone that he was already on a tight schedule.
He hadn’t texted me.If I hadn’t come home early, he might have been gone before I got back.
“So, what’s the emergency?”
Zipping up the case, Giulio had looked around the apartment that had been our home together for seven years.But the only expression I could read in his face was him checking to see if he had forgotten something important.
Stepping forward, he kissed my cheek.“There is no emergency, Luna.It’s time for me to go home, that is all.”
He was out on the landing before I could react.I grabbed his arm to stop him.
“What about your job at the deli?”
His shrug was very eloquent.“What about it?I quit.”
“Why?!Why are you doing this?”
Taking a deep breath, Giulio explained.
“You are not traditional enough for me, Luna.Look at the walls.No crucifixes.Just a bunch of weird paintings.Look at the kitchen.You don’t cook.The only small appliance you own is an espresso machine.And a corkscrew.”
I was outraged.
“I’m not a drunk!”
Giulio had held up his hand.“I didn’t say that, but you are happy to exist on coffee and take-outs with the occasional glass of wine.Domestic goddess you are not.”
“But that’s how I was when you met me.”I found it hard to make sense of what was happening.
“Yes, and that’s great when you are a girlfriend, Luna, but it is not what I am looking for in a wife.”
Pointing over my shoulder, Giulio sighed.“I wrote all of this in the note.Please read it.Ciao, bella.”
And just like that, he was gone.
Boy, oh boy, did Giulio’s note make it clear to me how much he hated my fiercely independent spirit and lack of nesting instinct.Tallie told me I was well rid of a bad bargain, but that did not negate the fear I felt at being thirty-two and newly single.
Here’s the thing.I managed to get through high school and college without losing my head—or my reputation—as far as sex was concerned.It’s not that I was frigid, but it helped that I got a decent vibrator the moment I could afford to buy one.
But here’s the problem with vibrators; they replace all those organic things that happen when two young people find one another attractive.No muss, no fuss.
By the time I finished my studies and had an impressive portfolio of projects to boast about, I was still technically a virgin.
My first two lovers were a bust—enough to ruin all my fantasies.
The guy who took my virginity, I think he was less experienced than I was, if that were at all possible.It hurt to the point of pain, if not downright discomfort.And partner number two was just as bad.He mounted me as if I was a machine gun tripod and then proceeded to jitter on top of me as he emptied his load.Ugh.
