For the next fifteen minutes, I focused my mind on shifting my hand and continued to send positive thoughts toward my wolf, letting her know everything was okay and that it was safe. About the time I thought it might not work, I felt a tingle run down my arm to my hand, then there was a not-unpleasant pulling sensation.
Glancing down, I saw that my fingers had actually turned into claws. They were the long-fingered claws of a werewolf rather than the stubby paws and toes of a wolf. I grinned and let my wolf know she’d done a good job. I concentrated on trying to do it again. By the time we stopped, I was actually sweating withthe mental exertion of it, but I could make my hands change at will. It was crazy and strange and exciting all at once. My mind and body were exhausted, so I lay back on the moss by the creek to rest.
“You’re doing a great job,” I whispered to my wolf.
There was a surge of relief and happiness from her that made me smile. My mind drifted back to the memories I’d dreamed about.My eyes sprang open when something in my mind clicked into place. I remembered the whispered voices of the conspirators from the dream. They’d talked about the princess, but there was something that stuck out at that moment that hadn’t before. Those men had said the princessmaybecome a monster like her father. That thingsmighthappen. They had talked in possibilities, not facts.
I reached out to my wolf again with my mind.You never shifted before? In your past life?
The first emotion that flooded into my mind from her was sadness. It started small, a tiny ache at the back of my mind, then grew until I could feel it in every inch of my body. Then a low, almost embarrassed growl whispered in my mind.No.
My heart ached for the girl. She must have been very young when those awful men killed her. Maybe only eleven or twelve? A child. Her hesitancy, confusion, and wariness all made much more sense now. We were both trying to figure out how to shift together. She’d never had the chance to come to her full power. She’d been killed because of what shemightbecome. I really couldn't blame her for being afraid to come out into the world.
After resting for another while, I managed to get up to head back. I needed to tell Nico what I’d discovered and see if he had any ideas on how to proceed. Surely there was a way to help put my wolf at ease.
I found him in the field, watching as the pack continued a different drill. He wasn’t participating. When he saw me emergefrom the woods, he smiled and waved a hand toward me. Skirting the practicing group, I walked up to him and pulled him aside.
“How was it?” Nico asked once we were away from the noise.
“Great, actually, I made some real progress with my wolf. If I concentrate really hard, I can make my hands shift.”
Nico’s eyes widened in surprise. “Wow, seriously? Can I see?”
“Uh, it’s a little exhausting. I’ll try to show you later. I wanted to talk to you about something else. I think I know the real reason my wolf is having such a hard time coming out.”
“Okay, let’s hear it.”
Once again, I went over the dream of her death and told him what the men had said. Then what my wolf had confided in me—that she’d been killed before ever having her first shift, that she was as inexperienced as I was. When I was done, I could see realization dawning on Nico’s face.
“Damn,” Nico said when I was done. “You’re right. Shifter puberty is tough, but it’s even tougher on girls.” He nodded toward two women running across the field with the group. “Those two are my cousins Eliza and Francisca, and they had a really difficult time when they first shifted. I feel like I’m a good resource for you, but I was never a prepubescent female shifter. Maybe you could talk to them and see if they have any pointers for you. If you want to, that is.”
“At this point, I’ll do anything if it helps.”
After the practice session was done for the day, Nico introduced me to his cousins. They were gorgeous, and I could tell they must have been twins. They weren’t identical, but they looked alike enough to make it obvious that they were related.
“Eliza, Francisca, this is my mate, Maddy.”
I nodded and gave a little wave. “Hey.”
Eliza raised an eyebrow. “Oh, we know you. The woman who finally nailed Nico down. Impressive.”
My cheeks flamed, and I grinned, shrugging awkwardly. “That’s me, I guess.”
Francisca hugged me. “Don’t mind my sweat.”
Returning the hug, I said, “You’re fine. I’m probably pretty stinky from this morning too.”
“You guys have heard the deal right?” Nico asked. “About Maddy being a shifter?”
Francisca and Eliza looked at each other and exchanged exaggerated eye rolls. Francisca crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “The entire pack knows, Nico. It’s not really a secret.”
“Right. Anyway, I thought you guys could hang out this afternoon. I’ve given her all the pointers I can about shifting, but you guys might have a better understanding of how it is to be a female and go through your first shift.”
“Wemight?” Eliza said scathingly, glaring at Nico.
“Oh, hell. You know what I mean,” Nico said, and the two women giggled.
Francisca took my arm and started walking away. “Come, Maddy. We must give you all the secrets we mysterious female shifters have. The men aren’t to know our mystical ways.”
