I released a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. “Great. Maybe we’ll get lucky.”
Nico didn’t respond. Instead, he placed his phone on the table and looked at me. He had a weird look on his face. “Maddy?”
“Hmm?”
“The envelope? Your dad’s journal entries?”
“What about them?” I could still remember the words. They were burned into my mind.
“Are your dreams like that? Almost like… I don’t know… like you're living in a movie or something?”
I sat there for a minute, thinking about his question. “Kinda, yeah.”
“Do you want to tell me about them?”
I did. I talked for a while, giving him detailed descriptions. Especially the one where I’d been walking through the woods and the memory of being murdered. Before I started talking, I thought it would be traumatic to relive it out loud. Instead, Iactually felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. When I was done, he looked shocked.
He chuckled mirthlessly. “I can’t believe this is really happening. Like, it’s allreal. Does your wolf seem hostile or bloodthirsty? Kind of like what your birth mom said in the letter about your dad’s?”
“No, not at all. She’s angry with the royals, but that’s it. Honestly, there’s a lot of fear in her, which makes sense now after learning everything. I mean, they murdered her in a past life—she has every reason to fear these people. Of course, it’s not the same people, but after hundreds of years of money and power, I doubt they’ve become any less awful. In our experience, they may actually be worse. I think my wolf isn’t the same as Edemas’s. I can’t see her taking over my body to go hunt descendants of the royals like what happened to my father.”
Finding out my dream was real gutted me because I could still remember the fear and horror she felt as she was pushed over the railing. The way the hard stone floor had rushed up toward her. I gritted my teeth. “I’m not entirely sure what she wants, but I know that I want vengeance for her.”
“Don’t forget what your mother said in that letter,” Nico warned. “Control your emotions. Don’t let yourself get carried away in those emotions. If she’s like mine, hate, anger, and revenge will just feed her and make it hard for you or her to think straight.”
I took a steadying breath. He was right. Knowing what we did about how Edemas and my father interacted when they were in the same body gave me pause. Could the wrong emotion at the wrong moment send me down that same path? Would I show up at home, covered in blood and gore after being gone for days with no memory of what I’d done? The thought made my blood ice over.
59
NICO
As I’d read along with the letters and diary entries, and after seeing all the pictures and news articles, I got the feeling things were going to get bad. If I had been the one seeing these memories in my dreams, it would have destroyed me. I’d seen Maddy shut down after experiencing things like this before, and now I understood why. That was what I was worried about. I was surprised by the change I saw in her. It was the complete opposite of what I’d expected.
“Teach me to fight,” she said through gritted teeth.
My eyes widened in surprise. “What?” Maddy looked ready to go to battle right there and then.
“You heard me, Nico. I can keep my wolf’s emotions in check, and I can control my own, but if it comes down to it, I need to be able to defend myself. I’m tired of sitting on the sidelines. I sit under that damned tree and watch Javi’s pack and our pack training. I need to know how to fight.”
I didn’t want her to think like that. If she had to fight, then it meant I’d have failed in some way. Her protection would have been compromised. The royals or their agents would have gotten to her. It was too anxiety-inducing for me to even think about.I put my hands on her shoulders. “Maddy, there’s no reason for that. I will never allow anyone to come near you. They’ll never even get the chance to attack you directly?—”
“For fuck’s sake, Nico. Stop that,” she said, shaking my hands off her arms. “Stop coddling me! I’m not some porcelain doll that’s gonna break if the wrong person touches me. Anything can happen. You and I both know that. I can’t shift yet, but hopefully, I will soon. If nothing else, I should be able to defend myself in human form as well as when I’m a wolf.”
I tried to find an argument against her learning to fight, but it all sounded stupid. If we weren’t in this situation and everything was normal, wouldn’t I want her to be able to defend herself against a mugging or an attempted rape? Why was it different with the royals? Why was I so afraid for her to learn to fight? It was ridiculous. I had to admit that.
“Okay,” I said, the tension leaving my shoulders as I came to terms with it. “You’re right. I’ve been treating you like you’re some fragile thing that shouldn’t be anywhere near the fight. The fight is coming to you, though. We can start tomorrow. Does that sound good?”
Maddy visibly calmed and gave me a small smile. “That does sound good.”
Maddy met me in the backyard the next morning. She was dressed in a T-shirt and shorts while I wore athletic pants and opted to go shirtless. Our pack hadn’t had any true battles in years. My father and grandfather before him had always done a good job of keeping the peace. Other than Javi’s crew, we’d had very little reason to have any disputes. Even with that in mind, the Lorenzos had always made sure the pack was properly defended. Everyone old enough to learn was taught how to fight, both as humans and as wolves. Dad had taught my brothers and me multiple techniques—Jiu Jitsu, Krav Maga, and Aikido. Even though we’d had no true reason to use it over the last severalyears, it was a matter of pride that our pack was able to defend ourselves against any attacker.
“So,” Maddy said. “Where do we start?”
This wasn’t supposed to be easy, so I decided to start things off the way my father had started with me. Without answering her, I stepped forward, grabbed her arm, spun, dug my hip into her belly, and twisted my upper body. Maddy yelped as she spun head over heels and landed on the grass on her back.
Groaning, she coughed. “Fuck. What the hell?”
I winced inwardly. I didn’t want to hurt her. That move had been minor, but it still made me feel bad. I’d need to be a little more careful. I lifted my shoulder in a shrug. “This is how I learned.”
