“Okay, good. Let's get you home,” I said, relief finally settling in as we pulled away.
I reached out and put a hand on Maddy’s thigh, squeezing gently. She put her hand on mine. The feel of her skin reminded me of what I’d almost lost. We spent the drive home in silence, both knowing how close we’d come to losing each other. We’d have to be more careful.
42
MADDY
The moon’s strength tugged at me, filling me with power and seducing me with its glow. My body ached to shift. The hissing sound of my feet stepping through the grass and the moss followed me as I walked, naked, through the forest. Cool, moist air kissed my body, quenching the heat surging over my skin. Finding a spot where the tree canopy opened, I turned my face up to the moon. Its light swept over my body like a lover’s hand. My flesh tingled, and my nipples grew hard. Upon opening my eyes, I saw the moon’s massive white face hovering in the sky and shining down upon me.
An almost orgasmic sense of power surged through my body. In an instant, I started to shift—my flesh turning to fur, my bones reshaping themselves, my jaw elongating to that of a wolf. In less than three seconds, I stood, fully changed. I was a wolf, like Nico, but different. Glancing down, I saw that I walked on two powerful and thickly muscled legs. My hands weren’t the stubby, clawed feet of a wolf. Instead, they were a hybrid of hand and paw, tipped in wickedly sharp claws.
Instead of being frightened, the sight of my new body filled me with bloodlust. The desire to hunt, chase, and killoverpowered my senses. I surged forward into the forest. My new body was lightning fast, and I crashed through the trees and undergrowth faster than I’d ever moved in my life. I howled up at the moon, relishing this newfound power.
My sprint came to an abrupt stop when a smell caught my attention. The scent of a wolf. My chest heaving from exertion, I stopped and searched for the source. After a second, a young gray wolf came padding out from around a tree. It froze at the sight of me. Its yellow eyes locked onto mine as it trembled, and a fearful stream of steaming urine spurted from between its legs. I snarled, enjoying the fear coming off this creature—a beast so below me that it barely registered as a cousin to me. A new desire filled me. I needed to dominate, to subjugate, to annihilate.
I took a heavy step toward the wolf, a mere child in my eyes. The beast was shaking as though it was having a seizure before it finally collapsed to the ground, bowing down to me. It understood I was the alpha. Not just of this creature but of all his kind—his kind and the shifters. I wanted this thing to succumb to my power. That wasn’t enough, though. This was only the beginning. I’d make the world bow to me. My jaw would close on the throats of my enemies, and their blood would burst into my mouth and course down my throat. The mere thought sent an almost sexual buzz through me. I raised my maw toward the moon and released an earth-shaking howl.
I jolted up in bed, gasping for breath and drenched in an icy cold sweat. I would have screamed as I woke, but my throat was tight with fear. I swallowed and wiped my brow. The dream was fading even as Nico stirred beside me. The images may have been rapidly vanishing from my mind, but the emotions and feelings were still overwhelming. Maybe even more vivid than when I’d been asleep.
“Maddy? Are you okay?” Nico mumbled as he rolled over.
I jumped from the bed without answering and sprinted for the bathroom. The memory of my werewolf body running through the forest seemed to come back, making me feel like I was in some strange alternate reality or experiencing déjà vu. My knees slid on the tile as I hit the base of the toilet and heaved into the bowl. Vomit burst up and cascaded out of my mouth in a hot, burning spray. Nico came in behind me and swept my hair back out of my face, holding it away as I gagged and puked three more times. The memory of the dream made me more nauseous the longer I sat there. Finally, with nothing left in the confines of my stomach, I collapsed to the side and leaned against the tub, sweat trickling down the side of my face.
“What happened?” Nico asked.
I took a deep breath and grabbed a wad of toilet paper to wipe my mouth before answering. “Bad dream. Really bad dream.”
“Come on,” Nico said as he bent over and scooped me into his arms.
I didn’t even try to decline. I let him lift me, resting my head on his chest as he carried me downstairs. It was nice to be carried. There was something nostalgic and comforting about the act. Almost like I must have felt when my daddy had carried me when I was little. In the living room, Nico set me on the couch and covered me with a blanket before moving to the kitchen.
“I’m going to make you some tea,” he said.
“Thanks.”
“Do you want to go outside to drink it?”
I glanced out into the forest beyond Nico’s house through the glass door. The memory of the dream and how powerful I felt in the woods made my stomach do another little flip-flop. I shook my head. “Inside’s fine.”
A few minutes later, he walked over to me with a steaming cup. He handed it to me and sat down next to me. “Okay, let’s hear it.”
“I don’t think you want to.” I shivered and took a sip of my tea, my hand trembling as I raised the cup to my lips.
“I think I do. I’ve never had a nightmare bad enough to send me into convulsions of vomiting.”
I sighed and held the mug in my lap, wrapping my hands around the ceramic. The heat of the tea bled through to the exterior of the cup—nearly hot enough to burn my fingers. But I didn’t move my fingers. I welcomed the pain because it reminded me that I was still awake—that I was still me.
“You’re sure?” I asked.
“Wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.”
I took one more sip, then relayed the entire dream to him—all the parts I could remember anyway. Through my retelling, I made sure he understood exactly how I’d felt, how drunk with power I’d been. When I was done, I sank back onto the couch.
“Am I turning into a monster? Some soulless beast?” I asked. “Like Viola said I was?”
The fear that I’d become some psychotic maniac like Edemas had been toward the end of his reign weighed on me. That madman’s blood was in me. I could see myself getting seduced by the power. Would I be strong enough to control it? Would anyone?
Nico shook his head. “You aren’t going to be a monster.” He scooted closer and took me into his arms, setting my mug aside. “Blood or not, I know what kind of person you are. You know it, too. We promised to keep each other focused. If you feel like you’re losing yourself to this power, tell me. I’ll be right there to reel you back in, okay?”
