"Tell me how." His voice cracked. "Tell me what I must do, and I will do it. Anything, Lillian. Anything you ask."
She looked at him, this wounded, terrified, impossible man who had somehow become the center of her world, and she felt the last of her defences begin to crumble.
But she could not simply surrender. Not after everything. Not without knowing that this time would be different.
"You say you want to try," she said slowly. "Then try. Stay here. Face the scrutiny of Lady Smith and her guests. Watch me interact with Edward..." She saw him flinch at the name, but she pressed on. "And do not retreat. Do not run. Prove to me that your presence means something more than a grand gesture born of jealousy."
"I will stay." The words came immediately, without hesitation. "I will stay as long as you need me to stay."
"And you must understand..." Her voice wavered, but she forced herself to continue. "Edward proposed to me yesterday. I have not given him an answer. I will not give him an answer until I am certain, truly certain, of what I want. If you cannot accept that, if the uncertainty is too much to bear..."
"I will bear it." He took another step toward her, close enough now to touch, though he kept his hands at his sides. "I will bear anything, if it means a chance to prove myself to you."
Lillian studied his face—the exhaustion, the fear, the desperate hope that he was trying so hard to contain. She thought about all the reasons she should send him away, about the reasons she should protect herself from further hurt, and about why she should choose the safe and predictable path that Edward represented.
And then she thought aboutwithin appropriate bounds, and she knew that safety was not what she wanted.
"Very well," she said. "Stay. Prove yourself. Show me that you can be present when things are difficult, that you will not build new walls the moment I get too close."
"I will." His voice was fierce with conviction. "I swear to you, Lillian."
"Do not swear." She held up a hand, stopping him. "Swearing is just more words. Show me, Daniel. That is all I ask."
He nodded, accepting her terms. And then, slowly, hesitantly, he reached out and took her hand.
His fingers were cold from the long ride, but his grip was steady. Lillian looked down at their joined hands, feeling the warmth begin to spread through her despite the chill of the autumn air.
"I should tell Edward," she said quietly. "He deserves to know that things have changed."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"No." She shook her head. "This is something I must do alone. But..." She looked up at him, and for the first time allowed herself to feel the full weight of what was happening. "Stay. Promise me you will stay."
"I promise." He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss against her fingers. "I am not running anymore, Lillian. Whatever comes next…..I am not running."
She believed him. For the first time since that terrible morning at his house, she believed him.
But belief, she knew, was not the same as certainty. That would require time, and patience, and the willingness to trust that a wounded man could learn new ways of loving.
She only hoped she had the courage to let him try.
Chapter Eighteen
Lillian found Edward in the conservatory the following morning.
He was standing beside a potted orange tree, his back to the door, his posture suggesting a man lost in thought. The morning light filtered through the glass ceiling, casting everything in shades of pale gold, and for a moment Lillian allowed herself to observe him—this man who had offered her everything she once thought she wanted.
He was handsome. He was kind, or had seemed so. He would have provided her with a comfortable life, security against the uncertainties that plagued women of modest means. A month ago, perhaps even a week ago, she might have convinced herself that such things were enough.
But they were not enough. She understood that now.
"Mr. Potter."
He turned at her voice, and she saw hope flare in his expression before he controlled it. "Miss Whitcombe. I had wondered if you might seek me out today."
"I owe you an answer. It would be unkind to make you wait any longer."
"Ah." He studied her face, and she watched the hope fade, replaced by something harder; a tightening around his eyes, a slight compression of his lips. "I see. You have come to refuse me."
