As if he knew just what she were thinking, he ducked his head. When at last he looked up, his expression was unreadable. “I am glad your guardian allowed you to stay.”
“As am I,” Lydia breathed.
“You’ll be free to do as you please here.” He straightened, rolling back his shoulders. “Let me know if you need help turning off any suitors.”
A smile crept across her face. “You would be well-suited to the task.”
He raised an eyebrow. Well, really, he quirked one the barest bit, but she noticed the change. “Yes, I suppose I am. It is one perk of being wide as a doorway. I can keep out unwanted visitors.”
She laughed a little. But before she could say any more, his expression shut down again, and he stepped back.
“I will find the housekeeper to show you to your room—allow you to settle in a bit.”
“Thank you,” she said, though he had practically left the room already by the time she got the words out.
Chapter 26
Lucas did not return tothe study, where he’d been overviewing some of the arguments that Parliament would be holding that week. Instead he went straight out the door, his blood pumping in his ears as if he were mid-fight. He was halfway to Colin’s club before recalling that he was still dressed as a gentleman. Silently cursing himself, he had the carriage stop and directed the coachman to Henry’s home instead. Usually, if in need of advice, Lucas would go to James. Much as Lucas appreciated Henry and his friendship, he was not the levelheaded individual one usually sought for counsel.
But right now, Lucas wanted someone else to talk so that he did not have to. He needed a distraction. And Henry was far more suited to that task than James was. He needed someone to distract him from the problem he’d created.
Lucas arrived at Henry’s townhome but was shocked to be told by the butler that no Sir Henry lived at that location any longer. The home had been rented.
Rented? Henry had mentioned no such thing, not that Lucas saw him regularly any longer, but still, a change in lodgings seemed something a friend ought to know about. He supposed that was just one more way in which he was failing lately. He was struggling to keep his emotions in check, he had led his brother to something that could have killed him, and now he was even neglecting his friends.
Lucas stood on the steps to the townhome in which Henry no longer resided and stared aimlessly down the street. What was he to do now? He could not go to Colin’s club. He could not visit his friends. He certainly could not return home, not with Miss Faraday now living there. He flexed his hands and paced back to the carriage.
He was grateful—immensely so—that his parents had so quickly taken up Miss Faraday’s cause and brought her into their home, but what he’d not realized in his attempts to protectherwas that he was doing a very poor job of protectinghimself. Seeing her in his drawing room and knowing that she was there permanently did something to his brain. The fact that they could have breakfast together, evenings, even bump into one another outside their rooms? It was more than he could bear. More emotions than he could keep at bay.
There were no other options, so he instructed his driver to take the longest possible route home, and then he retreated back inside the carriage to stare at the upholstery and try to realign the internal workings of his mind because their current configuration needed a great deal of help.
***
Lucas sat in the corner of his family’s drawing room, paper raised to cover his face, but nothing available to mute the sounds from his ears.
Miss Faraday had been in his family’s home for three days now, and he’d managed to avoid seeing her entirely. His parents had even escorted her to a ball, and Lucas had been able to find an excuse not to join them. The idea that she now slept only a few doors from him, that she took her meals with them and joined them on outings, was proving difficult for him to manage.
Lucas did not regret for a moment offering her safety in his home, but he rather wished he could offer himself safety elsewhere. This forced proximity was near killing him. He was not sure he could manage to be a friend to her any longer, not when he barely seemed to be holding himself and his conflicting feelings together.
He was beginning to believe he truly wanted—and could not have—more. He’d dropped the act—which was not hard, ashe’d not been doing much—of trying to find a wife. It was an added burden he could not deal with now. Soon. Soon he would try again, but for now, he needed to fix something about his situation and the emotions spiraling from his control.
Three days. He ought to have managed to come to terms with the fact that this woman was now staying with them, but he had not. Instead, he sat at the edge of the family’s gathering, pretending to read the news.
“You are truly terrible at cards, Miss Faraday,” Charlie declared, laughing.
“Charles, that is no way to treat our guest,” Mother reprimanded, though there seemed to be a smile in her voice as well.
“I do not know, Lady Cheltenham,” Miss Faraday said. “It is not as if he is wrong.”
Lucas’s lips quirked at that. He lifted the paper higher.
Father laughed, and Charlie said, “See! Honesty, Mother. Do you not wish me to treat our guests with honesty?”
Mother tsked good-naturedly, and the conversation ceased but for the occasional groan or exclamation regarding the cards being played in their game of whist. Charlie needled Miss Faraday over her card playing several more times, to which Miss Faraday responded with wit. They fought like brother and sister.
His stomach drooped at that. He did not need reminders of Marietta when he was already so emotionally volatile.
“Lucas, would you like a turn?” Mother asked, forcing Lucas to put down the paper just enough to see her watching him expectantly while Miss Faraday collected the cards.
