“You are rather disagreeable tonight.” Again, she strove for lightness, but he sensed that beneath it, she was barely holding on to sanity, just as he was.
“I think I have reason.”
She sighed. “You do.” She suddenly sank back into the bench. “I cannot apologize enough.”
“No,” he said firmly. “None of this is your fault.”
“Charlie would not have gotten into another fight, your friend would not have been led here, Mr. Frank Colbert would never have followed us and grabbed me.”
“Stop,” he said, ignoring his better judgment and coming to her side of the carriage. He reached for her but stopped himself. If hetouched her now, he was not sure he could keep in control of his emotions. Shadows played across her face as she tilted to meet his eyes. Hers were nearly black in the darkness.
“You know I am right,” she said, her voice small.
“What I know is that you have endured a horrific ordeal tonight, but every individual acted with his or her own agency. You are not responsible for anyone else’s choices.” With a bolstering breath, he laid his hand over her forearm, bracing himself for the awareness that would shoot its way through him. “Iam sorry. I am at fault for putting everyone in danger. My ridiculous need to keep this part of my life secret has created this mess. I can only beg your forgiveness for bringing you into it.”
She shook her head. “If I cannot blame myself, then neither can you. I used my own agency to join this ‘mess’ as you say.”
“You are difficult to apologize to.”
“I could say the same for you.” Her lips lifted into a smile, and he suddenly became overly fixated on them.
The air between them seemed to move more slowly as her gaze dropped down to his lips then locked on his eyes. His jaw tightened. Her chin lifted.
And the carriage stopped, arriving back at the Cheltenham home.
But Lucas could not be stopped. His exhaustion lessened his resolve, and coupled with the draw to her that had grown in the past weeks, he was helpless to her pull. He leaned down, pausing mere inches before his lips met hers. His mind could not stop thinking of what could have happened if he’d not been there in Colbert’s home.
What he could have lost forever.
“Lydia,” he groaned. His eyes begged a question of her, needing her to allow or deny him. Were she to deny him, it would take every ounce of his willpower to hold back. Though he’d avoided his feelings for some time now, a dam had brokenon his control, and he found he did not want it to be rebuilt. He did not want to hold back any longer.
She closed the space between them.
Her lips pressed against his, and the sensations that coursed through him at the contact were like nothing he’d ever experienced. Even their first kiss had not compared to this need-driven connection. Heat, awareness, relief—they all battled for control.
His hands found her jaw, angling her face to his, tilting it for perfect access. Her hands found the sleeves of his jacket and fisted in the fabric there. Her lips moved across his.
Before he lost control entirely, he pulled back. But almost immediately, he brought his lips to her cheekbone. Her jaw. Her neck.
When she sighed, he finally came to his senses. He was worse than the basest of gentlemen to kiss her like this—alone, without a promise between them.
Lucas’s emotions were swinging on a pendulum. They’d gone to the highest point he’d felt in years and were now crashing down with the realization of what he’d done.
Her eyes searched his. “I—” she began, but he cut her off.
“We... We should go inside. You need your rest.”
Her eyes were still flicking between his, a question lingering there, but she nodded.
He pushed open the carriage door and helped her out. He led her up the stairs and opened the door, and was greeted by the sight of his mother waiting in the middle of the foyer. Her lips were pressed together in what almost appeared to be amusement. It was entirely at odds with their entire night. She stepped forward.
Lucas released Lydia, putting distance between them, though it was hard. “Mother, I did not know you were home.”
She glanced at Lydia with a light smile. “We received Lydia’s message and came as quickly as we could.” Her smile faltered. “Your father was organizing a group to find the two of you. We’ve been terrified at your fate. Or were... until I saw the carriage arrive.”
Lucas blinked. If she’d seen the carriage arrive, she knew they’d not immediately alighted. She might even know what had transpired inside. Her eyes pierced his in a way that said she knew exactly what he was thinking.
She shifted her attention back to Lydia. “I cannot imagine what you’ve been through. Your maid has drawn a bath. I should like to look in on you soon, if that is permissible, but I will let you rest a bit first.”
