“Nothing.”
Kennedy slipped the phone into her jacket pocket and rushed to smear a palm over her cheeks, erasing the clear evidence of her pain. It was bad enough Relic found her in a vulnerable state; she repulsed at the notion of revealing any weakness for him to use later if she told him about her idiocy with Ezekiel.
He’d probably put her in the likes of Harmony who’d saved his ass for the sake of love after he killed her brother and then used her for an alibi. The more Kennedy thought about it; she held as many similarities to his first love as he did hers. The only difference was, she had no intention of letting Ezekiel slide like Harmony had done with Relic.
Her expression stoned as Relic skated those blue eyes over her like he could read every bad decision she’d made for her ex-lover. How she used to sweet talk Koda for him, creep out at odd hours of the night, and terminated a baby because he wasn’t ready, yet knocked up the next woman as if theirs hadn’t mattered. That alone had earned Ezekiel the bullet she dislodged into his gut.
“If you had a man,” Relic said, his words concise and measured as if he was feeling them out as he spoke. Every thought in Kennedy’s mind vanished as she gave him her full attention. “If you had a man, and he found you on the bathroom floor crying, would you want him to force you to talk about what’s on your mind?”
She shook her head. “I’m not big on talking ‘bout how I’m feeling.”
“Me either, so understood. What would you prefer he do, Larenn?”
“I guess, I’d want him to be patient and wait it out ‘til it passes. Sometimes, I need a minute to fall apart before I can pull it together again.”
“Alright.”
Relic walked to the door, and Kennedy assumed that he was giving her space until he shut it. Her heart that she couldn’t control, the same heart she told herself he didn’t deserve, tried leaping out of her chest to find the palm of his hand when he lowered onto the floor to sit beside her.
Her bottom lip tremored, and she sucked it between her teeth before resting her head on her knees while trying to dispel the emotions Relic evoked with a simple gesture. Her airway shrunk as he gazed at her with eyes that didn’t carry their usual coldness and lacked any signs of a secret agenda for his actions. Relic had stripped himself of those formidable qualities to give her comfort.
He gave her a sense of succor so palpable to the point she contemplated telling him everything about her phone call with Sarge. It blew her mind how the very man who’d inflicted such pain on her could also bring her that level of peace.
“I don’t think I’m sick. I think my heart is,” she built up the courage to choke out, and his hand gravitated to its favorite landing spot on her neck. He clenched it while his thumb caressed her cheek as she questioned him, “If you unintentionally hurt or caused pain to someone you love or care about, would you tell them?”
His thumb halted mid-stroke before his gaze turned analytical, scanning her face in search of signs about what she was alluding to.
“No.”
The cut and dry response winded her like a punch to the chest. She pressed her tongue against her inner cheek as his thumb resumed a mechanical stroke over her scars.
“You claim to love or care about them, right? Do you think telling them what you did would hurt them or make them feel better? Who is it helping?”
Kennedy inwardly cringed at the reaction she figured would come from telling Tekken she played an accidental hand in Koda’s demise. Relic licked his lips and gave her room to rebuff him but then continued when she didn’t.
“I wouldn’t tell them because it’s selfish, Larenn. Why make them suffer because you fucked up so bad it’s eating away at you? That’s your burden to bear. If it does happen to come out, handle it then, but to hurt someone, on top of the pain you already caused, just to seek their forgiveness to clear your conscience is selfish. It won’t make them hate you any less. Believe me, I know.”
He eased his hand off her face before tucking it under his chin while surveying her reaction to his brazen advice. Kennedy gave him nothing. Her eyes synced with his, but were inscrutable, and her beautiful face remained so damn dignified that his forehead creased in worry of not seeing it anytime he pleased. The urge to do the exact opposite of what he’d told her crossed his mind, but he stood firm on his ideology, spurning her subtle attempt at reconfiguring his brain like it was faulty. She was too goddamn good at doing that.
“That makes sense.” Her voice held an understanding lilt that took him aback when she said it. A smile followed as she asked, “How was fishing?”
“Eventful.”
Her brows knitted at his answer before she truly took the time to assess him like he’d done her. She reached out and brushed her thumb across the nick she hadn’t noticed on hisforehead and then trailed her finger along the stress lines tampering with his handsome features. The thought of whether they’d stemmed from their conversation or her prying into his earlier activities crossed her mind.
“I let Shabu know about me going to prison,” he told her, unprovoked, and her face fell. “He didn’t take it well, hence the bruise, but we’re straight. I came to tell you that Savvy is downstairs. Judith too, and she bought you soup pen because Jah asked her to.”
“Judith is in this house?” Kennedy pointed a finger at the floor, disbelief interweaving throughout her question. “And you’re fine with that?”
“Jah wanted her to come over. It’s his house as much as mine.”
“Relic.”
His mouth balled at her seeing through his front. He reached for her arm, grazing her scars while staring past her at nothing.
“I’d rather sit in the bathroom with you than pretend I’m fine with Judith being here. You wait out your feelings while I wait for her to get the hell out of my house.”
“We’re going downstairs.”
