He overdosed when I was eleven. One of his bandmates found him when he didn’t show up for a gig.
The autopsy said he’d died of a heroin overdose, and he’d been drunk and high on cocaine too. Mom knew he had a drinking problem and that he occasionally dabbled in cocaine, but the heroin had caught her by surprise.
Before Dad died, Mom was too busy with building her career and taking care of me to date. After he died, she was a little shell-shocked—and still focused on me. Grampa ended up moving in with us, just to be around for me while Mom worked.
Grampa started picking me up from school and kept a watchful eye on me until Mom was off work. Grampa didn’t take me to the skate park, but he’d pick me up from school in his 1952 Buick Roadmaster and take me for ice cream.
Grampa walked with a limp from an injury he’d sustained during World War II. It pained him a great deal, but he didn’t drink or take any medication for it outside of the occasional Tylenol.
I didn’t mind hanging out with Grampa, but I missed my father, and I was still trying to process that loss. Grampa knew it, and he started relaying stories from his time in the war, the losses he endured overseas and years later. He put a lot of things into perspective for me.
“Sometimes, the man isn’t strong enough to beat the addiction, that’s why it’s important not to fill your body with that junk,”he’d said wisely.“You don’t need to be high on drugs or drunk to have a good time. Get high off life, and drunk on love.”
Remembering how hard Grampa’s death had hit me a few years later when I was thirteen, I felt a renewed wave of sympathy toward Cal and Connor.
“You okay?” My mother’s voice brought me out of my memories.
“Yeah, sorry. Zoned out. Pretty tired.”
“Don’t stay up on my account! I’ll be going to bed soon myself. I worked nights last night,” Mom said, yawning herself.
We said our goodnights and I headed down to my room to get settled.
When I was sixteen, we renovated the basement so I had the whole level to myself. There was a bedroom, an ensuite bathroom, and a small rec room type area, and an exit that led to the garage.
It’d been a while since I’d snuck a female in through the garage, although since Connor and I fell into bed together, we’d done our fair bit of sneaking.
The truth was, I was tired of sneaking around. Like a junkie, I wanted more of her already. I didn’t want to have to hide how I felt about her anymore. I wanted to take her out on the town, see her light up the stage. I wanted to tell the world she had my heart, but she wasn’t ready and I wouldn’t push her.
It had to be what Connor wanted, or I refused to take it. She had all the control in our relationship; she held all the cards.
I fished my phone out of my pocket, seeing I had several missed text messages and calls. Tai had been trying to get ahold of me. Ignoring them for a moment, I opened the conversation with Connor.
She’d texted a few hours ago, checking in to see if my flight had landed.
Me:Yeah, I’m here. When can I see you?
I typed out my reply and sent it. I’d forgo sleep in a heartbeat just to hold her.
Connor:Idk. Lots of stuff happening here.
Me:I heard…you holding up okay? What about Cal?
Connor:I’m fine.I’ve barely seen him for more than two minutes. He has a lot on his mind right now…did he tell you?
Me:Yeah. Can’t believe it. What a mindfuck.
Connor:I know, right? Poor Cal. He’s beating himself up even more now for staying gone.
Me:I’ll try talking to him.
After I hit send on the last message, I exited our conversation and called Cal. The phone rang a few times before he picked up. “Yeah?”
“Hey, man. Made it to my mom’s okay. Thought I’d check in and see how things were going?”
“They’re going,” Cal sighed heavily. “Been trying to keep out of Michael’s way. I think he’s pissed I’m around. I haven’t even told him the wonderful news yet,” he added dryly.
“When are you going to tell them?” I asked.
