“Yeah, okay. That’s good.” I nodded, my chest deflating as I exhaled. It wasn’t like I’d be able to throw myself into his arms if I picked him up, which I’d probably end up doing.
I craved his touch, knew it would make me feel better; knew it would make me forget, at least for a spell. Stolen moments were all we ever had, stolen moments and miles between us.
At least soon, he’d be here too.
“I miss you.” His words wrapped around me like a warm embrace, comforting me. Making me feel more grounded.
“Miss you too,” I whispered.
“Evan’s back with coffee. I’ll see you soon, okay?” he said, ending the call. I was used to quick exits and didn’t take offense to the abrupt hang-up.
When the line went dead, I got out of bed and took a long shower, letting the hot water wash away the tears. I thought about my last visit with Gramps, how he’d appeared upbeat. He’d seemed to have more energy than the last time.
I hadn’t expected him to go so suddenly, but that was death. It came whether you anticipated it or not.
Once I was dressed for the day, I left my room. Calum’s bedroom door was shut, but my parents’ door was open. Their bed was made for the day, their curtains pulled back to let the light in.
As I made my way downstairs, I could hear my parents’ voices drifting from the kitchen.
“I know he was out drinking last night,” Dad was saying, his voice irritated.
“Calum wouldn’t have driven if he was drinking, Michael. He knows better than that. I think he was just out processing. You know how close he was with Gramps.”
My dad let out a low grumble, whether he agreed with her or not was up for debate. I heard Cal creep in a little after three in the morning, and he hadn’t appeared drunk. He’d moved quietly through the house. The only reason I’d been able to hear him at all was because I’d been lying awake, unable to fall asleep myself.
Calum wasn’t just dealing with the sudden loss of Gramps; he was also processing the news he had a child. I didn’t think he’d drink away that knowledge. If anything, he’d remain stone-cold sober to torment himself with the what-ifs.
Of course, my parents had no clue what Cal was really dealing with. My stomach tightened with unease. I was getting good at carrying secrets, even if I didn’t like keeping my own. Secrets were heavy, but I understood the importance of Cal telling them in his own time. I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t.
When I was sure they were done talking, I walked into the kitchen. I found them sitting at the table, cups of coffee in front of them. For the first time since I’d been home, breakfast wasn’t on the table.
“Morning, sweetheart. How’d you sleep?” Mom greeted. Her red hair hung in waves down her back, and she’d put a little bit of makeup on to try and cover up the bags under her eyes. Mom wasn’t sleeping well either.
“Okay,” I replied, not wanting to worry her. I crossed over to the coffee maker to pour myself a cup too, needing the caffeine.
“We’re heading out to go grocery shopping soon. Want anything in particular?” Dad asked. I shrugged, pouring cream into my mug. I didn’t have much of an appetite these days.
“I’m good with whatever you guys want to get,” I finally said, letting myself fall into one of the vacant chairs at the table.
Mom sent a sympathetic smile my way, reaching over to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Any plans for today?”
“Not really.” Dare wanted to meet up somewhere later tonight, but I wasn’t sure if it was the best idea. I was paranoid someone would spot us and word would get out. I wasn’t ready to tell my dad about Dare yet, or about my goals. “I have some homework, so I’ll do that. Maybe go for a walk later.” I shrugged.
“Oh! I’ll join you for the walk,” Mom said. “If you’ll wait until we’re back?”
“Of course, Mom. That sounds good,” I smiled at her from across the table.
Dad finished his coffee and stood up. “Are you sure you don’t want us to pick you up anything?”
“Maybe…ice cream?”
He smiled and nodded, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Double chocolate chunk or cookie dough?”
“Double chocolate chunk,” I confirmed.
“I say both,” Mom suggested, winking at me as she stood up too.
I finished my coffee alone in the kitchen before going up to wake Calum. I knocked gently at his closed door, pausing to listen. Hearing no movement on the other side, I knocked louder, more persistently.
