CHAPTERONE
February 2019
Dare
The penthouse was decoratedwith gold-and-black balloon arrangements, streamers and twinkle lights. Every inch of the living area was packed with bodies—other musicians, industry people, a few actors and actresses.
Music blasted from the professional-grade surround sound speakers, the floors practically vibrating from the force of the music and the people dancing. When Connor had walked in tonight to the surprise party Cal put together for her, she’d lit up like a firework show. Her captivating eyes sparkled like emeralds, her smile was infectious and more intoxicating than any of the booze or drugs floating around.
It had been all I could do to not stare at her.
I could take my pick from the women in attendance to drown her out, but I knew it wouldn’t help. She’d burrowed beneath my flesh, and she had no fucking clue she’d done so.
The urge to slip away was creeping into my veins, making my toes twitch in my Vans. The only thing keeping me rooted in my spot along the wall at the farthest point in the living room was…her.
What a cruel twist that was; because I knew I couldn’t have her the way I wanted her…the wayI needed her. She was here with someone else—her boyfriend, some idiot she’d met at university. I could tell within five minutes of meeting him he didn’t deserve her. He was a user, just like most of the other people in attendance.
There were plenty of other women crammed into our penthouse, beautiful women, women I could have. Normally, I’d find solace in that and seek out someone else who didn’t want a minute past sexual release, but who could step in and fill the void of loneliness for a few hours.
Maybe I could have done that too…if she wasn’t here. If those green eyes didn’t find mine every so often, if that little smile didn’t keep gracing her lips when they did. A secret smile, a smile that only appeared when our eyes locked…a smile for me. That smile kept the flame of hope in my chest burning, even if it didn’t make sense.
How fucked up was it that Ilivedfor those moments? That I felt more in them than any of the ones I’d spent with other women over the years—and I’d spent time with plenty of women.
Brighton Wells, a bombshell of an actress, sidled over to where I stood, leaning against the wall. Her hips swayed in the skintight white dress she wore, the hem barely covering her bits. Her eyes were glassy and red—she was half coked out of her mind. Typical for her.
“You look lonely, Dare. Mind if I keep you company?” she purred, placing her hand on my bicep.
At the beginning of my career, as the bassist and backup vocalist for The Forgotten Flounders, I would have felt flattered at an invitation from someone as gorgeous and famous as her…maybe even said yes.
Back then, everything was so fresh and exciting, so surreal—and so fucking awesome. With the all the money, women, and attention being thrust upon us, the guys and I wentwildfor a bit. Calum as a way of burying his heartbreak, Evan because heneverturned down a good time, and me because…well, I kind of felt like I owed it to Cal to live it up.
He’d thrown away a lot for this opportunity, including the love of his life. He wouldn’t admit it, of course. That would mean confessing he’d made a mistake—something Cal never did—but he hadn’t been the same since he’d left Harper behind.
He had a lot of regrets about how he left, but Calum wouldn’t face them head-on. He tried to numb it. Right now, music was pretty much the only thing tethering him to the world, and that rope was fraying.
In recent years, I’d felt more pressure to keep everyone on track, Cal especially. To keep that rope from fraying more. To keep him from truly losing himself in dark regret, he needed buoyancy.
Connor was that—a life raft in the darkness. When she was around, Calum was a little more himself. Maybe not the same guy he’d once been, but he smiled more, laughed a little, and wasn’t so hard on the booze.
Her infrequent visits were enough to pull him back, at least for a little bit. Then the slow slide began, and keeping Calum from disappearing into the dark abyss of his regrets would become my primary concern.
I felt responsible because I’d been the one to upload the music videos to YouTube that ultimately had gotten us our big break. Our self-released EP had drawn a lot of attention locally, and somehow, one of our music videos had ended up on a very important person’s recommended videos. That person’s interest in our music instantly put us on the radar.
This wasn’t just my dream; it was all of our dreams. It was everything we’d worked at building for years. Even as young teens, we had the nonstop drive to jam all the time, practicing our craft until we’d harmoniously perfected it.
None of us thought we’d land a recording deal and book a tour so soon. We thought we’d have some time to prepare, but we were told we’d have to get on a plane within the next couple of days if we wanted to join the already-in-motion tour.
Performing live at venues of that magnitude had us all signing without hesitation, confident everything else would fall into place. Evan and I hadn’t had difficulties telling our families—Evan’s parents were happy for him—and my mom was overjoyed to finally get us out of her garage.
We hadn’t anticipated being thrust into overnight success. But the sudden interest in us came from the already-in-motion and completely sold-out tour they’d wanted us on.
We’d been signed on to replace a band called Knight Fury that was supposed to open for Killian Barker. Killian was a popular American punk-rock singer and songwriter with seven platinum albums.
His label had insisted on having a popular Canadian band open for him, so Knight Fury came in. They made decent music and had a huge following already. But about a month before the tour was supposed to start, a few of the Knight Fury band members had been accused of sexual misconduct.
Although Killian was known for his tough guy exterior and playboy antics, he turned out to have zero tolerance for that kind of shit and booted them before they had a chance to explain themselves.
Killian had a daughter; she was seven and lived with him whenever he wasn’t on tour. She stayed with her mom’s family when he toured, but sometimes her aunt would bring her out to shows. He wouldn’t risk having anybody who would endanger his daughter, her aunt, or any of his fans for that matter. Despite his don’t-give-a-shit outward behavior, his sensitivity went beyond what he projected to the media.
