The mudroom door closed behind them, and I watched from the kitchen room window as they got into Calum’s Jeep. A moment later, it started, and Cal backed slowly out of my driveway.
Exhaling, I let the lace curtain fall and headed back upstairs. I finished the omelet and coffee, then stood to make my bed. The sheets were tangled, the blanket halfway down the mattress. Biting my lips, I grabbed the corners of both and straightened them. They smelt heavily ofus. My belly clenched, part in arousal, part in bewilderment.
I’d never really asked myselfwhatI’d do if he were to come back. I just kept operating, kept checking boxes off my to-do lists.School. Asher. Work.I didn’t have time to reflect upon how I’d react—or more accurately, I didn’tletmyself have time to reflect. I was too busy and too focused on giving Asher everything I possibly could. I continued on with my plan for us because it was the only thing I could control.
When he didreturn, he’d sought me out before he even knew what had grown between us in his absence. We’d wounded each other, yes—him with his departure, and me with my silence on something so momentous.
I couldn’t help but forgive him, just as he couldn’t help but forgive me. We both recognized that we each made decisions based on the assumption that the other person wouldn’t be able to handle that lifestyle. I’d assumed—falsely, as it were—that Calum would resent having a child with me. I feared he’d think I was after his money.
But seeing him again had made me realize that buried beneath the façade of his silent and broody rock star persona was the boy I’d fallen in love with was a man aching for home—and renewed at finding it.
Closing my eyes, I focused on what I was feeling.Hope. Love. Lust. Safe. Full.
I hadn’t questioned Calum when he’d offered to take Asher to school. I’d naturally trusted him with themostimportant person in my life because I knew without a doubt that he would protect him and keep him safe from harm.
Right now…I was happy. I was falling all over again, harder this time. Hope was blooming where hurt once resided, and it felt good. It felt pointless to fight it, like I was my own worst enemy, calling up the worst-case scenarios and robbing myself of the moments happening now.
I finished making the bed, then walked to the bathroom, pausing at the linen closet for a towel. Closing the door behind me, I set the towel on the rack by the shower and turned on the tap.
While the water heated, I stripped and ran my fingers through my hair, studying myself in the mirror. Pregnancy and age had made my hips fuller and my breasts larger. My stomach was a little softer than it was nine years ago. From mid-May to October, I walked to work, but I didn’t exercise in access or watch my diet, aside from trying to teach Asher healthy eating habits.
But Calum still looked at me like I was the most incredible thing he’d laid eyes on. One glance from him, one crooked grin and all of my insecurities floated away. He worshipped my body, and his obvious arousal to it made me feel like a goddess.
The mirror started to fog from the steam, so I stopped the self-examination and stepped in. Hot water rolled down my shoulders and soaked my hair. I let out a sigh, letting the water cascade over my body.
When my hair was soaked, I washed it, lathering the shampoo through the strands while I thought about his fingers. I rinsed before working in the conditioner, thinking about his lips.
Reaching for my shower puff, I grabbed the soap and squirted it on, setting the bottle down on the ledge before washing, letting my thoughts drift again to Calum, to how completeI’d felt, drifting off to sleep in his arms again. Maybe, to most people, it was too soon—too sudden, too easy, but to me, it made sense.
I stood beneath the water to rinse the conditioner from my hair and the soap from my body before turning the taps off. I twisted my hair, squeezing the water from it before reaching for my towel.
I wrapped the bath towel around my chest before blow-drying my hair. I took my time, blow-drying it and then straightening it, before applying my makeup. I kept it simple—cover-up, mascara and a thin line of dark plum eyeliner.
Opening the door, I walked down the hall to my room and nearly jumped out of my skin. “Holy crap, Mom! What the heck?”
My mother was sitting primly on the reading chair, tucked by the built-in bookshelves under the window.
“I woke up early this morning, in case you needed me to give Asher a ride to school. You didn’t call me last night to let me know what was wrong with your car—which didn’t leave your driveway after the CAA man left. But then I noticed his Jeep was there. All night.”
I exhaled deeply, continuing to my closet. “I told him to crash on the couch. He wanted to give Asher a ride to school. My car is fine—it ran out of gas idling, but Calum came by yesterday and filled it. I’m sorry, I didn’t call you because I had it covered.”
She drew in a controlled breath. “I think you’re making a mistake. It’s too soon, for all of…this.”
My fingers hesitated over the pale pink long sleeve crew neck sweater before I shook my head and grabbed it off the hanger. “I have chosen to move on and forgive him. We are seeing each other, and you’re going to have to accept it because it’smydecision to make, not yours. You are also going to have to speak kindly of him—heismy son’s father.”
Mom sighed with exasperation and looked away, shaking her head. “Fine. Be reckless; learn the hard way. Again.”
Feeling a little wounded, I tugged open my dresser drawer and grabbed a pair of jeans, shutting it a little rougher than required before turning to face her.
“I need to get to the bookstore, so if you’re done questioning my decisions, please show yourself out.” I stomped off to the bathroom, closing the door a little firmer than needed.
I tugged the sweater over my head and slipped my legs into the jeans, buttoning them before leaving the bathroom.
“I’m sorry. I’ll stop. You’re right—you are an adult, and I need to back off and trust that you’re being careful.”
“I am being careful,” I responded, folding my arms across my chest and meeting her apologetic gaze stubbornly.
I could tell it was extremely hard for her to disagree and not say anything, but she nodded. “Okay.”
