Both of my parents stilled as if they’d been doused with cold water. Mom shot me a look, and Dad stiffened, hurt permeating his hazel eyes. The look was gone quickly, disguised and controlled with an affectionate smile for my son.
“How did this come about?” Mom questioned, her brow furrowing.
I sent a pointed look to Asher, warning her without speaking that this wasn’t a topic we’d be getting into with him here, listening. Dad caught on and distracted Asher.He likely knew Mom wouldn’t let this information pass without verbalizing her opinion on it.
“Let’s go toss the football around,” he suggested. Asher jumped on the chance to play with his grandpa, and they disappeared around the side of the house to the backyard, leaving me alone with my mother.
“So? How was Ontario?” I asked, trying to buy myself some time as I turned to my trunk and grabbed the grocery bags. Ellery would be over shortly to make garlic bread, and I was going to start preparing the lasagna for tomorrow’s dinner.
“Harper…” Mom said, using the same warning tone I’d heard a million times throughout my life. She looked anything but thrilled with me. “You can’t be serious.”
I sighed, pivoting, and walked up the porch steps, bags in hand. I could hear her behind me as I fiddled with the lock. Pushing it open, she followed me into the house.
Setting the grocery bags down on the counter, I inhaled, preparing myself for the unpleasant conversation I knew was to come.
“How did this happen? Did you reach out to him?” she pressed.
“No, Mom. His grandfather died, so he’s back for the funeral. He came to the bookstore on Tuesday to see me, and—well, Asherishis son.”
“Harper.” Mom scolded with an air of disappointment. I glanced at her; at the rigid way she held her shoulders. “You don’t know what his intentions are. Youknowthe kind of life he’s led since you—do you really think he’ll stop all that and be a father? The fame, the money—the women?”
That last remark struck my heart with the violence of a meat cleaver.
“What he does or doesn’t do will not alter the fact that heisAsher’s father, and he has a right to know his son—and Asher has a right to know his dad.”
Mom watched me carefully. Her eyes pinched with concern. “I really think you should talk to a lawyer first. I could call Maureen from Benson and Brandt Law Firm. She’d be able to draw something up—“
“Mom, please stop,” I raised my hand, silencing her. “It’s just dinner. It’s just a chance for them to get to know each other a little. I don’t see why I need a lawyer for that.”
“What if he tries to take Asher away from you? Have you thought of that?” Mom snapped, her impatience getting the best of her.
“Calum would never do something like that.” I wasn’t sure about a lot of things happening right now, but I knew that much. It seemed like he just wanted a chance to be around, and if I didn’t give it to him, Asher would be the one who suffered most.
“Be that as it may, I remember the first time he left—how hard it was for you, how devastated you were. I don’t want you to go through that again…and more importantly, I don’t want Asher to go through it.”
“I don’t either, obviously.” I exhaled audibly, pushing the strands that had fallen free from the bun behind my ear and meeting her gaze. “But Calum deserves a chance, and I think he’ll surprise you.”
It was in his eyes, the set of his lips. His determination. It poured out of him, the desire to be present for our son—the desire to know him. He was true in those intentions; I knew it in my heart.
That’s what made his return sodangerous. For me, anyway.
“You’re going to lose your head and heart to him again,” Mom predicted, shaking her head incredulously.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I rolled my eyes, and turned back to the counter. I started putting away the groceries, my back to her, pissed that she’d laid a voice to my own fears.
Her prediction shook up my resolve; I could already feel it. What we had between us all those years ago was still there, buried beneath the hurt. It was in the way he looked at me. It was in every word he spoke to me.
My mom watched me for a moment before sighing. “I’m sorry. I can’t help but worry. It’s a mother’s job, as you know.”
“I do,” I agreed, glancing at her over my shoulder. “But this isn’t about Calum and me. It’s about Calum andAsher. That little boy wants to meet his dad, and Cal isn’t a bad person. He’s made some choices, choices he says he regrets. I see no reason to keep them apart any longer than I already have.”
“Youdidn’t keep them apart,” Mom corrected.
“Yes, I did. I can admit that. I couldn’t bear the thought of him not wanting Asher, too. But Mom…you should have seen his face when he realized it. If I’d told him sooner…” I left the rest of that thought hang silently between us.
“You told him when he came back, which I suppose is what you’ve always said you would do.” Mom sighed, resigning. “Just…promise me that you’ll be careful. With yourself, more than anything.”
“Of course,” I assured her, my heart pounding with the promise I hoped I could keep.
