“Yeah,” I nodded. Shelly’s expression turned pensive, and I wondered if she was thinking about her mom again.
“So…did you guys date in high school or something?”
Her question caught me by surprise. “For a while. But that was a long time ago. We’re…friends now.”
“Still, you dated Calum Jacobs!” She remarked wistfully, instantly romanticizing the idea. “That’samazing. He’s so dreamy!”
“Mhmm,” I said distractedly. “All right, missy. Enough chatting. Time to restock the children’s nook.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Shelly nodded obediently, crossing over to do just that.
That evening while leaving the shop with Asher to go home, I spotted Shay, who was coming to pick up his daughter. Asher had just climbed into the car’s back seat, and I was about to open my door when I noticed him.
“Oh, Shay!” I called out before he reached the shop doors. He turned, his lips tugging into a warm smile when he saw me.
“Hey,” he replied, walking toward my car. I joined him on the sidewalk.
“Hi. So, I’m sorry but, some things have recently come up, and I, unfortunately need to cancel our date on Friday…” I trailed off, my brows pinched apologetically. The disappointed look in his eyes made me blurt out an explanation. “My ex—Asher’s dad, he’s back in town. Full disclosure, things are complicated right now, and I’m really not in the right headspace to start something new.”
The disappointment eased, and Shay nodded with complete understanding. “I get it. That’s too bad, but it’s important to be in the right frame of mind. Some days, I’m not at all sure I am, either.” He laughed a little.
“So, no hard feelings?”
“None at all,” he assured me, his eyes twinkling. “I hope you figure things out. Have a good night. I’ll see you around.”
I watched as he went into the shop, then quickly walked back to the car. Asher hadn’t noticed the delay. His headphones were in, and he seemed lost in the music. Buckling up, I glanced at him in the rearview mirror as Calum’s visit ran through my mind.
The remark about the funeral struck me again, and I warred with the idea of going to Frank Murphy’s funeral, for Cal. I understood why he didn’t want Asher’s only memory to be that. Still, the idea of him going alone wasn’t sitting well with me.
Calum
My fingers numbly struggled with the black tie. Frustrated at having to redo it again, I tugged it free and started over.
“Let me help,” Mom said, moving from the doorway of my bedroom and into the room. She was dressed in a simple black mourning dress, her makeup natural. Her auburn hair was pulled into low, flat twisted bun. She stopped before me, expertly tying my tie in under thirty seconds. She smoothed it out, drawing in a deep breath before lifting her chin to look at me. “There.”
“Thanks, Ma,” I sighed, gaze drifting to the mirror. My eyes were dull, jet leg had caught up to me, and I wasn’t sleeping well at all.
My thoughts were ensnarled with everything that had happened over the last four days—finding out about Gramps, coming home, seeingheragain, and finding out about Asher.
In a matter of days, my entire life had changed abruptly, leaving me in a tailspin. It had opened my eyes and made me realize that I couldn’t continue living this lie anymore.
It wasn’t enough.
I loved Harper. That simple fact had never changed, had never lessened, no matter how many drinks I’d poured down my throat, or how many women I’d tried to escape in. I’d had just fleeting moments with music for years, years when I could have had her, had them,andhad music.
I’d dreamt about it, during those fitful bursts of sleep I managed to get each night. I dreamt of all the things I’d missed, another life I could have been living, and I woke up feeling utterly bereaved.
Especiallytoday.
For years, Gramps had been telling me to come home and make it right. For years, I’d been ignoring him, unwilling to face what I’d walked away from, or why.
Mom’s hand encompassed my forearm, and she squeezed gently, nodding once at me with gentleness in her green eyes. “We’ll be leaving in ten minutes.”
“Okay,” I nodded, jaw clenching with tension. Mom wanted the four of us to arrive together, which meant I’d be in their SUV with them.
“It’ll be fine,” she assured me, leaning up to plant a kiss on my cheek.
I wondered if she’d still say that if she knew what was really eating me up. That my inexperienced, selfish hands had laid damage to so much more than I’d originally envisioned—a break so deep, words couldn’t possibly breach the gorge.
