We were on course for a horrific collision, one where his judgment and lectures would undoubtedly lead to an argument and provide an excellent outlet formydeep-set frustration.
I couldn’t have that; not anymore, and especially not right now.
But I could just save myself the hassle and buy a house. I could easily afford one, and I needed the space and privacy. If I wanted to get to know my son, I would need to find a more permanent living solution. The more I thought about it, the more I was sold on the idea.
Did I want to leave the band? The question came from seemingly nowhere, and the answer wasn’t complicated.Fuck no. I needed a break—that was true. I needed time to adjust to the sudden shift of my reality, but I didn’t feel finished with that chapter yet; I just felt like altering it a little.
Okay, a lot.
We’d acquired enough success that it now didn’t matterwhereour central hub was. I wanted mine to be back home.
But before I did anything, I definitely needed to talk to the boys—and to Harper again, to see where her head was even at with all of this. With me.
I knew I’d fucked up majorly by walking away once before, but the second I saw her again, I felt the shift. And the moment I heard our son’s voice, that shift became roots.
Turning the tap off, I reached for the towel, drying my hair before running it over the rest of my body before dressing. Grabbing my phone, I headed back to my room.
It was eerily silent in the house; no voices were drifting from any of the rooms throughout it. My parents were still out. I grabbed my jacket from the desk chair I’d tossed it on.
Shoving my arms into my jacket as I barreled down the stairs, I came to a halt when I saw Connor sitting on the couch in the living room. Her legs were curled up beneath her. She looked up from the notepad she had balanced on the arm of the couch.
“I’ll be back in a bit. Are you okay alone?”
“I’ll be fine. Just working on a paper that’s due when I get back.” She replied, smiling softly at me.
“You sure?”
“Yes,” she insisted, arching her brows. “Good luck with Harper,” she added, sparing me another encouraging smile before her eyes dropped back down to the notepad.
Harper
The rest of the morning passed by slowly and quietly. Enough customers trickled in to keep us comfortably busy, but there were lulls that I could let my thoughts drift as I stocked shelves, pondering the cancelled show. Hope was blooming where it shouldn’t, and that scared me.
At a quarter to noon, the door dinged, drawing my attention away from my task and my thoughts. I turned, expecting another customer, my heart slamming into my ribs when Calum’s resolute gaze landed on me. He stalked toward me while I stayed rooted at the end of the young adult fiction aisle.
Today, he was dressed in a pair of dark denim jeans that clung to his muscular legs. A pale gray Henley peeked out beneath his black leather jacket. His hair was hidden beneath a dark toque, and the dark bags beneath his eyes suggested he hadn’t slept well, either.
He shoved his hands into his jean pockets, slowing when he neared me. “Hey,” he said lowly—his voice rough like he hadn’t used it much today. The abrasive roughness of it made my spine tingle.
“Hi,” I said warily, appraising him, that stupid hope spreading. I detested how powerless I was to it—to him.
“Can we talk?” he asked, pulling his eyes away from me. He took in the shop, a slow, small smile gracing his lips, causing my stomach to flutter. I wondered if he was thinking about the day he introduced himself, too.
Then he looked back at me, and it was like he was hit with a reminder of what we no longer had. His smile dropped, a sober expression befalling that sensual mouth.
A small part of me wanted to say no. Out of spite, out of years of hurt, out of fear over the hope I felt and tried desperately to deny, to fight. I wasn’t a spiteful person by nature and in my heart of hearts…I could never do that to either one of them. I knewexactlywhat Calum wanted to talk about, our son. It was hard to fault him for that.
Even if it’d been inadvertently, I’d kept his son from him. I could see the benefit of us speaking a few times prior. It would allow us an opportunity to clear the air and set some ground rules.
I had to remember that it was probably just as unsettling for him as it was me. I’d had nine years to come to terms with parenthood, while Calum hadn’t had a full twenty-four hours yet. I wasn’t entirely sure who’s fault that was, anymore.
Looking away from him, I focused on the book covered display table. “I was about to take my lunch. We can talk in the office.” In my peripheral, he nodded. Placing the book I was holding on the table, I moved past him, his cologne invading my senses. I could feel the heat of his gaze on my back when I stopped off at the front counter of the café to speak to Ellery.
“I’m taking my lunch break.”
My friend tilted her head and arched a brow, her eyes darting briefly to Calum and then back to me. “Okay. Did you want me to bring you guys something to eat?”
“Maybe just some coffee? He drinks it black.”
