“What are you talking about?”
“Harper.” Her name was the only thing I could say at that moment.
“What about her?”
I sighed. There was too much, so I got to the point. “I’m not going to be making my flight Friday night.” I knew he could figure out the subtext; that I was definitely going to miss the show Saturday night in Edmonton.
In the nine years that The Forgotten Flounders had toured, I’d never once missed a show, never fucked up a song, never left my bandmates hanging. I played while sick; I played while hungover, hell—I even played stoned out of my tree.
“Because ofHarper?” he asked, stupefied. I hadn’t spoken her name aloud to him inyears, at least not sober.
“She’s got a kid,mykid,” I replied, shaking my head.
“You’re fucking joking.” He deadpanned, falling silent for a few moments as he worked it out. “How do you know it’s yours?”
“Because his age lines up with when I left, and because it’s Harper. She wouldn’t lie about something like that. Because he looks just like me, and because I know in my fucking gut that he’s mine.”
“Easy, Cal. I’m just saying…” he hedged cautiously.
“I know, I’m sorry.” I inhaled, the crisp air coming off the ocean, soothing my raw lungs. “I’ve got a lot of shit to figure out right now. I can’t leave, not yet.”
“This is our last show for a while, why don’t you play it and then we’ll take a small hiatus?”
“I hate to let the fans down—and you guys too, but I really can’t leave, Dare. I’m meeting him Saturday night. If I reschedule or push it, it’ll give the impression that I don’t care and that I’d chose music over him, like I did to her. I can’t do that—not again.”
The line was silent for several beats. I waited them out, knowing he had every right to be pissed at me. “I get it. We’ll cancel the show. Extenuating circumstances and whatnot.” He didn’t sound happy about it, but I didn’t expect him to. My fuck ups were now affecting our band.
“Thanks, man,” I said, some of the burden releasing from my shoulders, new guilt filling the space.
“Don’t mention it. I’ll talk to Evan and Tai, and we’ll get it sorted on this end. Guess this means we’ll be making it to the funeral after all. I’ll give you a call later once our flight is booked, okay?”
“All right,” I said before ending the call. I sank down, sitting in the cold, damp sand, gaze affixed to the horizon. Impulsively, I snapped a picture of the sunset and pulled up Harper’s name. She still hadn’t replied to my last message.
I’ve never forgotten.
Those three words went so much deeper than simply never forgetting her number.
Harper
July 23rd, 2008
The fine white sand was warm and soft beneath my bare feet as we walked along the beach, stealing coveted glances at one another.
Calum Jacobs was everything book boyfriends were made of. Never before had a real-life boy caused an explosion of butterflies to riot in my belly with a simple glance, or the graze of the back of his hand against the back of mine.
When he approached me in the bookstore and asked me out, I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t imagining him. He was attractive in every sense; dark hair, piercing eyes, tall and sinewy. He smelled like leather, the sea, and something else—something that was entirely him and entirely alluring to me. Pheromones, probably.
I was a puddle of need beneath his feet, but I fought it. Or I tried to, anyway. But boredom and curiosity won out.
He took me to all his favourite, touristy places, saving this beach for last. I’d explored Lunenburg myself a little but seeing it through Calum’s eyes was like seeing it through a completely different lens.
It was strange. I’d only just met him, and yet…I felt as comfortable in his presence as I did with people I’ve known all my life. It was almost like a part of me recognized a part of him; an instant connection, if you will.
Calum had a disarming smile, and a way of looking at me like he was seeingallof me. For so much of my life, I’d felt unseen. My mother was consumed by my father’s career in the Royal Canadian Air Force, and so much of her time was spent worrying about him. Now that he was retired, it was like they were in their second honeymoon phase.
Little seemed to exist outside the two of them, and I was okay with it. They deserved the time, and I was used to being independent. I was lonely, though. Lonely and bored, my only escape was from the books I disappeared in.
But in less than forty-eight hours of meeting, Calum pulled me out. His playful, bold energy revived me. From the moment his eyes first locked with mine, something had awoken in me.
