She looked up, not a hint of displeasure to be found in her gray eyes. Just understanding and acceptance. “Okay.”
Fighting a relieved smile, I stepped toward her, catching a loose tress of her hair and tucking it behind her ear. “I’m not available this weekend, but I’m free every night this week until Friday.”
“For booty calls?” she lifted a brow, smirking a little. I grinned back, shrugging in response. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
12
Those Walls
Alaric
“So, are you seeing anybody yet?” Mom asked, arching a brow and taking a sip of white wine.
“No,” I said, thinking of Gwen. We’d spent the last several days hooking up after work. But hooking up was about all we did. I didn’t let myself think about how good it felt to be around her, how natural it was. Instead, I focused on the primal, animalistic desires between us.
“Alaric, you need to stop putting up walls. Ever since Cheryl, you haven’t let anyone in. You can’t let that foolish girl scare you away from love.”
“She didn’t,” I argued, my brow furrowing.
“She did,” Mom countered, looking at me pointedly. “You’re so closed off now, and I worry about you.”
“There’s nothing to worry about,” I assured her. “My focus is on Sawyer.”
“It doesn’tjusthave to be on her, though. You don’t need to walk through life alone,” Mom said softly, imploringly. She studied me for a moment, sighing heavily when I said nothing in reply. “When I lost your father, I went through a serious grieving period. The sudden absence of him, it broke me for a while. You didn’t know that, because I kept it from you. You were already shouldering so much—Sawyer, Cheryl, the business, and your own grief of his loss.”
“Mom.” I shook my head, emotion clogging my throat.
“I never thought I could feel so lonely. But one day, I woke up and realized that your father wouldn’t want me to be alone for the remainder of my life.” She said, her eyes misting, although Mom was never a weeper. She was one of the strongest women I knew.
“You’re right about that,” I said thickly, drawing in a deep breath. Dad wouldn’t have wanted her to be alone. He would want her to be happy, however that happiness came to her.
She smiled, nodding a little—she knew him better than anyone else, after all. “Nobody willeverreplace your father, but that doesn’t mean my heart isn’t capable of growing to love someone new. Yours is capable, too. Cheryl’s lies and deceits are not every woman’s, so don’t punish every woman for her actions.”
I nodded, absorbing her words to the best I could. I knew she was right, but trust had never come easily to me. Less so, now.
“Anyway, I think I’ve had one too many glasses of wine.” She chuckled, waving away the heavy tone and smiling tiredly at me. “I’m going to call it a night, I want to get up early and make breakfast.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I said.
“Oh, it’s no bother. I want to,” she replied, walking around the counter to give me a hug. “Goodnight. And get a bloody haircut,” she smacked my shoulder and retreated from the kitchen. I laughed, shaking my head as she climbed the stairs.
I heard her murmuring to Tig, who’d placed himself in front of Sawyer’s bedroom door again. From the moment we got home, he hadn’t left her side.
Turning off the lights in the kitchen, I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Grabbing the remote, I turned the television on, lowering the volume so it wouldn’t disturb anyone else.
Although my body was tired, my mind wouldn’t shut off, and I knew I’d just end up staring at my ceiling instead of sleeping, so I turned on the Discovery Channel and stared blankly at the screen.
I kept thinking about my mother’s confession, guilt and shame swirling about in the pit of my stomach. My parents had been in love until the day my father died. If he’d never had the heart attack, they would still be happily married today. But, he was gone, and instead of basking in his absence, my mother found peace.
Her ability to love hadn’t been shaken, despite the gravity of her loss, and yet for the last several years, all I’d done was push people away before they had a chance to get close—especially women.
There was no doubt about it; I’d used what happened between Cheryl and me as an excuse to keep women at a distance. While it was true that I’d never been in love with Cheryl, I’d been hurt badly by her actions.
Gwen was a rarity, and even I could see that. She’d given no indication that she wanted more than our casual hookup arrangement, but it was getting harder to ignore the fact that every moment I spent just talking with her was as tantalizing as the moments I spent inside her. There was something inherentlygoodand easy about her, something that could almost be described as…right.
Being with her felt simple. Uncomplicated. The lack of pressure from her was refreshing, and it made me think about her more than I probably should.
I pulled my phone from my pocket, bringing up Gwen’s Facebook page. I’d never been one for social media, but I had a Facebook account. I mostly used it for the buy and sell groups, where I’d sometimes sell stuff I’d made that I’d lost interest in or had no purpose for.
