“Don’t you dare!” she screeched, trying to fight her way out of his arms. But Braden was strong, and we laughed as he jumped into the cold lake with Elle in his arms. I smiled at the scene, shaking my head at my brother’s playful antics. I hadn’t seen him this happy and carefree for a longtime.
But while the playful moment had brought a smile to my face, it also worried me. From the little time I’d managed to spend with Elle since she returned home, I’d picked up on her quiet depression, and I hoped fiercely that my little brother knew what he was doing withher.
“Do you want to go swimming, Aiden?” Tessa asked, and I watched as he nodded eagerly. They ran into the lake together, screeching when the cold water splashed against theirlegs.
I watched them for a bit, a small smile on my face. Aidenlovedhis Aunt Tessa. She would take him horseback riding in the summer and tobogganing down the huge hill on her father’s farm during thewinter.
When we celebrated our first Christmas without Mom, Tessa had gone out of her way to make the holiday meaningful and special. She included us in all of her family’s traditions, and when I tucked Aiden into bed after a day spent with the Armstrong’s, he told me that he felt like Tessa was a guardian angel sent by his Grammy, to make sure we’d beokay.
I had to agree withhim.
“Whatcha thinking so hard about?” a familiar voice asked, prompting my skin to erupt in goose bumps. I turned my head, watching as Travis lifted a beer to his lips and took a deep sip, his hazel eyes warm as they appraisedme.
I tugged at my mud-splattered tank top, uncomfortable with how the heat in his gaze made meache.
This seemingly invisible pull between the two of us was driving me crazy. The air between us seemed to hum with anticipation and electricity. His gaze skimmed the lake once before he focused on me, desire burning in his irises. His thoughts had likely taken the same route mine had with recollections of the last time we’d been on my family’s beach together, the night I’d ended ourarrangement.
Recalling the two girls he’d brought to O’Riley’s in my mind’s eye, I looked away. The wave of jealousy and disappointment that had washed over me that night made my feelings undeniably clear. All the more reason to try to avoid the wholething.
“Just so you know…I brought those girls to O’Riley’s the other night to purposely make you jealous,” Travis said, breaking the cozy silence with his soft-spoken admission. I tensed, sensing him move closer to me. “I’m not really all that sorry for doing it,either.”
The second confession was spoken near my ear, and the warmth of his breath tickled against the sensitive skin on my earlobe, igniting the slow burn of desire in the pit of my belly. His words evoked a fluttering in my chest that I refused toanalyze.
“And why’s that?” I demanded lowly, my voice shaking as I folded my arms across my chest. The reaction his words had coaxed out of me wasbewildering.
“Because, it made you jealous.” He arched a brow at me, like I should have guessed his reasoning. “Because it makes me think that maybe, you didn’t end the arrangement because of the wedding and the possibility of getting caught. You still wantme.”
My shoulders trembled and my chest rose and fell with each quick breath I took. I glanced around at everyone else, they were too occupied in their own conversations to pay ours anyattention.
“I do want you,” I finally said, my voice thick with emotion. I was tired of denying it. I was tired of holding my feelings—and myself—back out of fear. I was tired of being afraid, and I couldn’t carry it anymore. “That’s not theproblem.”
“What’s the problem, then?” Travis asked, his lips twitching withhumour.
I arched my brow, intentionally mimicking his earlier move. I cast a worried glance around us, just to ensure nobody else was watching. “I’ve got enough to deal with. I don’t have time to be your occasional play toy anymore, and to be honest…I’m not sure I want tobe.”
Maybe it wasn’t fair of me; I’d been the one to insist upon keeping it strictly about sex between us, so to throw the fact that he’d given me exactly what I wanted back into his face waslow.
But somewhere down the line, my wants and needs had changed, and my flight response had kickedin.
Travis took a hesitant step toward me, catching himself when he realized that we weren’tcompletelyalone. He stopped so that he was standing directly beside me, his head turned toward the lake as if he was watching the othersswim.
“You aren’t and would never be just my plaything, Becky. I want you, I want you in more ways than you can possibly imagine. When you told me you wanted to end the arrangement, I agreed because that’s what I thought you wanted. But you don’t want that, do youBecs?”
His eyes slid over to mine, watching me, reading me.Seeingme.
“I—“ I trailed off, staring at him with astonishment. “I don’t know what I want anymore,” I admitted. I felt woozy, and a little disoriented. Maybe I had heat stroke, or maybe watching Travis interact with my son all day had done strange things to my head and myheart.
I’d melted at the way Travis spoke to my son. He treated him like an equal, like he was extremely interested in hearing every little thing that my seven-year-old had tosay.
If I allowed myself to think about it, that’s exactly what I would want my partner to do: treat my son with respect and interest, take the time to get to know him, because any man I chose would need to accept Aiden into hislife.
“That’s okay, we don’t have to put a label on it Becs. I feel it, you feel it…so let’s just see where it takes us?” he suggested. His hazel eyes burned with desire and promise, and my heart stuttered in response to the heady way he looked atme.
“Can we talk about this later?” I pleaded, clearing my throat. My eyes itched, a sign that tears would surely follow. Now wasn’t the time or the place for this conversation, although I agreed we needed to haveit.
“Yeah, of course,” Travis nodded, crestfallen. He brought the bottle of beer to his lips and took several long sips, his eyes never leaving my face. He lowered the bottle a fraction, running his tongue along the seam of his lips. “But, we will have this conversation, Becky…and we will have itsoon.”
I nodded, watching with pursed lips as he strolled over to Gordon, Grady and Brock. I turned on my heel and walked up to the cabin, grabbing the cooler off the back of my ATV as Iwent.
