“Between the final dress fittings, the rehearsal dinner, and double checking that the caterer, the florist, and the limo company have everything ready -- I’d say so.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Elle,” Tessa said. “Seriously, I was floundering before you came back. Pinning things on Pinterest doesn’t actually get anything accomplished on the wedding to-do list.”
“Nope,” I smiled. “It just adds a heap ton of stress. Stay off Pinterest, everything will be perfect. Now, could you give me a lift home please? I’m exhausted.”
Half an hour later, I waved as Tessa drove back down my driveway. I turned around, about to open the door and go inside.
“Hey,” Mom’s voice startled me and I jumped a foot backwards, placing my hand over my heart. She was sitting on the porch swing, wrapped in a blanket, her face illuminated by the moonlight. “I wondered when you’d get home. I was hoping we could talk.”
“About what?” I asked, my heart rate slowing. Mom patted the seat beside her and I walked over, plopping down.
“When Alex came out, he told me about your leave of absence from work,” she said. I looked over at her, noticing the lines of worry and the hurt behind her soft green eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me, Elle?” she asked, sounding every bit as hurt as she looked.
“I didn’t want to worry you,” I replied, my voice quivering slightly as I tried to hold the tears back. It had been an intense day, and I wasn’t ready for this conversation.
She put her arm around me, pulling me close to her. I rested my head against her shoulder. “I’m going to worry regardless,” she said. “That’s what mothers do. We worry. I thought we’d always had the kind of relationship where we could talk to one another about anything.”
“We can,” I insisted. “I just…I didn’t know how to say it. I’m still coming to terms with it myself.”
“Hey,” she said, using her hand to tip my chin up so I’d look at her. “You don’t have to do this alone. I’m here.”
“I know,” I muttered.
She was silent for a few minutes, studying me. “Did your doctor prescribe any medication?” she finally asked.
“Just antidepressants,” I replied on an exhale.
“And you’re taking them, right?” Mom inquired with an arch of her brow.
“Yes, obviously,” I rolled my eyes. “I also followed his advice for that leave of absence.”
She was silent as she considered me. “Has it helped?”
“A little,” I admitted. “But it brings its own bullshit along,” I added, thinking of Braden and the day we’d spent together and how confused I was about everything.
“Have you thought about cutting the things that aren’t so good for you out of your life?”
“I can’t very well cut him out right now. Tessa’s getting married soon and we have to walk down the aisle together,” I answered, looking at her blankly. She smiled and shook her head.
“I wasn’t referring to Braden,” she told me. “I was talking about the job that brought it on. And, I guess I was also talking about Alex.”
“Alex?” I frowned. “I thought you liked him?”
“I do,” Mom sighed. “He’s a sweet guy. He’s nice and attentive and he cares about you a lot—but you don’t seem to feel the same way about him that he feels for you.”
“You sound like Tessa,” I sighed, pushing my feet against the porch to get the swing moving.
“Well, Tessa is smart,” Mom laughed. Her humour faded. “All we’re trying to say, Elle, is that you’re hanging on to a job—and a relationship—that you don’t really want when you should be trying to figure out what it is that youdowant.”
“So you’re saying quit my job—the job that you took a second mortgage out on the house soIcould get the education that would get me the job—and dump my boyfriend who stood by me when I was even more of a mess?”
Mom smiled. “I’m saying do what’s going to make you happy. Hell honey, maybe just relocating somewhere closer to where you’re happiest is the answer. This house will always be your home, and you’re welcome to return to it and regroup if you need to.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I whispered, resting my head back onto her shoulder.
* * *
I knew my mom and Tessa were right, but I didn’t have time to deal with my work and living situation. The week before the wedding really did prove to be busy. Between a mix up at the florist for the wedding arch flowers and the construction of the arch itself, I was too occupied running interference to even sit down and reflect upon anything. By the time Friday morning rolled around—and the rehearsal dinner—I’d sorted out all the mishaps and figured we were pretty much golden for the wedding the next day.
