I didn’t answer for several long minutes. I didn’t want to appear weak to her, and I didn’t want to make her doubt me like my siblings did. “Sometimes,” I said honestly. I left out the part where she offered the biggest, most effective distraction. With her around, my thirst for alcohol all but disappeared. “But I’d like to think I’m strong enough to handle it.”
“You are,” Elle nodded, sincerity in every word. Sometimes, I caught her looking at me the way she used to, when her faith in me was immeasurable. It was the way she looked at me before I broke her trust and her heart. I’d give anything to have her look at me that way all the time, not just when she forgot to put her guard up around me. But the fact that shewasable to see me in that light—no matter how fleeting—was enough to keep the hope that bloomed in my chest alive.
We reached my truck and climbed into the cab. I shoved the key into the ignition and turned it, the engine roaring to life. Elle said nothing as I pulled out of my parking spot and drove out of the dirt lot to the driveway.
I could tell she was completely lost in her thoughts because she didn’t say a single thing the entire ten minutes it took to drive to her house. I drove slowly up her long driveway, coming to a complete stop and putting the truck in park. Glancing over at her, I tried to ignore the intense longing I had to reach across the space and touch her.
“Thanks for the ride,” Elle told me, biting on her bottom lip gently. One hand was gripping the door handle while the other fidgeted in her lap. I wondered if she was fighting the same desires I was. From the looks of her body language, she was. I could read Elle like a book—I knew when she wanted something and when she was fighting it. She used to act the same way whenever we had a spat.
“I’ll give you a ride any time you need it,” I smirked, chuckling at the innuendo. Elle’s eyes narrowed at me, but her lips curved up in the smallest smile.
“Goodnight, Braden,” she said on an exhale before climbing out.
Elle
Sunday was the last day of the Stampede, and it was also one of the busiest days. The chili cook-off was one of the stampede’s main events, and my motheralwayswon it. Prior to moving away for college and starting my job, I’d helped her every single year. Not with the cooking of the chili—cooking wasnotmy thing—but with the serving after the judges announced a winner. All of the chili cook-off participants were able to serve bowls of the remaining chili.
I used to volunteer Braden for dish duty, just so we could spend the afternoon together. He always did it without complaint—usually because I made it worth his while afterwards.
This year, Mom seemed determined to make up for all the years I’d missed out on helping her. Not only was I on serving duty, but I knew I’d be on clean-up too. She’d help me of course—but Mom always cooked atonof chili.
Truthfully, I was thankful that Alex got called back into work the night before. I just didn’t know what to say to him anymore and every second that passed in silence made my skin prickle.
The entire time he’d been here with me, I looked at him and willed myself to feel fireworks and electricity between us. I always came up short. Things with Alex were comfortable; the fireworks and electricity just weren’t there, and every second I unwillingly spent in Braden’s company reaffirmed that. Whether I liked it or not, we had the fireworks and electricity. He made me burn, he made me feel alive, and I was fighting it because that was what I did best.
The lineup seemed never ending, and I ladled scoop after scoop of chili alongside of my mom. I saw so many people that I knew from school and around town, and every single one of them wanted to catch up. I was so exhausted by the time the lineup started dying down that I didn’t even notice Braden approach until he was standing right in front of me.
“Any chili left?” he asked, smirking at me in that way that made me want to both punch him and jump into his arms. I hated the way his hair curled around the black cap he was wearing. I hated the way I wanted to run my fingers through it.
“No,” I said, even though I still had several servings left.
“Oh come on Elle,” Braden pleaded, his hands coming up to clutch at his heart. “You wouldn’t deny a man your mom’s famous chili, would you?”
“I wouldn’t denya manmy mom’s famous chili, but I’d deny a man-child who couldn’t handle the heat,” I responded, my tongue sharper and quicker than my common sense.
“You wound me,” Braden responded, but his eyes were light and the smile on his lips told me otherwise.
“Fine,” I rolled my eyes dramatically. “If I give you the stupid chili, will you leave me alone?”
“Nope,” Braden grinned. “I’ve been instructed to fetch you by Tessa. But I’ll take that chili regardless.”
“Fetch me? For what?”
“We’re going mudding before the bonfire,” Braden informed me, a sly grin on his face. My ears perked up. I hadn’t been mudding insucha long time, since the summer before I started college—when Braden and I were still together.
“I can’t come. I’m helping my mom with the stand,” I said, surprised that I felt disappointed by this. I found that I actuallywantedto go, even if Braden was going to be there. We all used to have so much fun together. Everything felt lighter and free back then, and I wanted a taste of that again.
I could feel her eyes on me, watching my reactions. My mother had always been a very intuitive person. Lying to her was virtually impossible. Had she ever outrightaskedme if Braden snuck into my room at night, she would have known the truth just by taking one look at me.
“Give him the chilli and go,” she said, a bemused smile on her lips as she studied us both. I hadn’t seen her eyes twinkle like that in a while. It felt like ever since Alex had arrived, Mom was paying extra close attention to me. Even though I still hadn’t said anything to her, I could tell by the look in her eyes that she justknew.
“Are you sure, Mom?” I asked, frowning a little. I didn’t want to leave her to handle the clean up by herself.
“I’ve done it myself the last three years and I’ve survived,” Mom pointed out, raising her brows as she smiled at me. She gently squeezed my forearm. “It’ll be fine, Elle. Go blow off some steam.”
“Alright,” I sighed, ladling a scoop of chili into a bowl and passing it to Braden.
Wiping my hands on a towel, I bent underneath the booth to grab my purse.At least I don’t have to change,I thought as I peered down at my outfit and assessed it. I was wearing a pair of shorts and a black tank top that I wasn’t overly attached to anyway. My hair was already pulled up in a messy ponytail and stuffed beneath a Cabela’s baseball cap. It was hotter than hell out, and my skin was coated in a thin layer of moisture already. Besides, mud always washed off.
