Fuck. Why am I talking about this?
"He isn't a good man. Used his fists until I got too big, then switched to words. Told me real men don't cry. Real men play football. Real men date cheerleaders and marry their high school sweethearts and have kids and never, ever look at other boys."
"Gavin," Max whispers.
"My brother Troy tore his ACL doing something stupid while drunk. Lost his scholarship here. He's stuck there now, angry at everything. And my cousin Clint, he's just like my dad. Maybe worse."
The words keep spilling out. About the bruises I hid under football pads. About learning to be quiet so Mom wouldn't worry. About how even after she died, I could hear her voice saying, "Don't make him mad, baby."
"They visit sometimes. Troy and Clint. Drive down from that trade school Clint goes to, spend the weekend telling me I'm getting soft. California's making me weak. Last time they came,they saw me hugging a teammate after a win and..." I shrug. "Haven't seen them since October."
"Good!" Max says fiercely. "They sound horrible!"
"They're family."
"Family doesn't mean shit if they treat you like that." Doc's voice is hard, angry. When did he put his book down? "Blood doesn't give them the right to hurt you."
"I know. I mean, logically I know, but?—"
I'm cut off by Max practically launching himself over the fence to hug me. It's awkward with the bar between us, but he manages it.
"Max, what?—"
"Shut up and accept the hug," he orders. "You deserve so many hugs."
Then Doc is pressed against my other side, hand firm on my shoulder.
"Uh, guys?" I'm torn between embarrassment and a warmth blooming in my chest. "People are staring."
"Let them," Doc says against my ear.
Devin jogs past and mouths, "What the hell did you do?" at me. I wave him off, letting myself sink into the embrace. When was the last time someone hugged me just because?
"Roberts! Final call for discus!"
"Shit." I reluctantly pull away. "I gotta?—"
"Go." Doc squeezes my shoulder. "We'll be here."
"Cheering!" Max adds. "Loudly!"
The discus event passes in a blur. All I can think about is Doc's fierce voice saying family doesn't mean shit if they hurt you. Max's immediate, unquestioning hug. The way they both just... accepted it. Accepted me.
By the time events wrap up, I'm buzzing. Not caffeine-buzzing, just this full-body vibration that starts in my chest andradiates outward. Like I'm a dog who just got told we're going to the park.
It's Max throwing himself at me without a second thought, just because I told him something that hurt. No weird "damn, that sucks" or uncomfortable quiet. Just instant, fierce warmth like I actually deserved to feel better.
It's Doc's voice going hard and protective, ready to throw down with my whole family. The guy who's gonna be a doctor someday, who'll save lives, but right now wants to wreck anyone who hurts me. Nobody's ever been pissed offforme before.
I belong here. With these weird, wonderful people who see my mess and don't flinch. Who hears about my shit family and pulls me closer instead of backing away.
Back home, showing weakness got you targeted. Here, you get hugged by a robotics genius over a metal fence while your boyfriend plots anatomically accurate revenge.
Is this what safety feels like? This warm feeling in my chest that makes me want to laugh and cry and hug everyone at the same time?
Fuck, maybe California is making me soft. But I think I like it.
"First in shot put!" Max cheers as I approach. "Second in hammer throw! You’re amazing!"
