Tyler sits up, grinning. "Bro, you've been walking around with heart eyes for a week. Also, Rex won't shut up about you having a crush on your tutor."
"Fucking Rex."
"So it's true?"
I drop into my desk chair, suddenly exhausted. "I don't know. Maybe. Yes?"
"That's definitive."
"Fuck off." But there's no heat in it. "This is... complicated."
"Because he's a guy?"
The words hang there. Tyler's watching me with this patient expression, like he's got all the time in the world, which he does. That's what best friends do.
"Yeah," I admit. "Because he's a guy."
Tyler nods slowly. "Okay. And?"
"And what?"
"And what else? Because you've known gay people exist since freshman year, when you moved here, and I came out to you before Halloween. So what's different now?"
I scrub my face, trying to find words. "I didn't think... I never considered it could be me. You know? Like, I obviously supported you. Love is love, I believe that. But I never thought about guys that way."
"Until Sebastian."
"Yeah… Until Seb. Well, maybe a bit before that, but yeah. Umm Ty, please don't hate me for it, but..." The words tumble out in a rush. "I kinda noticed Ethan is hot."
The admission hangs there. Can't take it back now.
"And like… fuck, I'm not into him! Would never, EVER do that to you, you gotta know that. But yeah, I noticed? When he walked into our Halloween in that fucking outfit and you just… your whole face changed, and I was watching you fall for him and thinking 'oh, that makes sense, he's gorgeous' and then I realized what I was thinking and?—"
I'm talking faster now, words crashing into each other.
"—and then there's James and Caleb being all weird and intense and somehow working? And I started noticing how guys look and move and… shit, this is coming out wrong?—"
"Gavin." Tyler's voice cuts through my spiral. Calm. Maybe amused?
"I'm not explaining this right. I just meant I started seeing guys differently? Like actually seeing them? And your boyfriend happens to be really fucking pretty, but that's just an observation, like noticing the sky is blue, and now there's Doc, and I can't stop thinking about?—"
"G." Definitely amused now. "Breathe."
I finally look at him. He's not mad. Actually looks like he's trying not to laugh.
"You done?" he asks.
"Maybe?"
"Good. First, thanks for confirming my boyfriend's hot. I'm aware." He grins at my expression. "Second, you think I don't know the difference between 'I've discovered I can find men attractive' and 'I want your man'?"
"I really don't?—"
"I know. You just said Ethan's pretty like the sky is blue. Most unsexy comparison ever, by the way."
"I panicked!"
"Clearly." He leans back, studying me. "So you started noticing guys. When?"
