"There's a bulletin board in the student center," Max offers helpfully. "They post events. Social mixers. That kind of thing."
Ian perks up slightly. "Yeah?"
"Speed dating too,” Leo adds. "I saw a flyer."
"Huh." Ian strokes his chin. "Speed dating. That's old school. I respect that."
Gavin and I exchange a look. Something tells me Ian's about to have an interesting semester.
"Anyway." Ian raises his beer toward us. "To the happy couple. May your love be as strong as Gavin's squat max, and may Doc's fancy Swiss cheese always be... fancy."
"Beautiful," I deadpan.
"I try."
Then the speeches start.
Tyler goes first, because of course he does, and his roast, disguised as a toast, has half the room crying with laughter and the other half just crying.
"Gavin," Tyler says, voice slightly thick, "you've been my brother since freshman year. You've seen me at my worst, my best, and that one time at the lake that we don't talk about?—"
"We don’t talk about it,” several voices chorus.
"—and I cannot believe you're leaving me for Switzerland." Tyler points at me. "Doc, if you don't take care of him, I will personally swim across the Atlantic to kick your ass."
"That's... not how geography works," I say.
“I’ll find a way.”
Ethan is openly crying into Tyler's shoulder. Rex is suspiciously red-eyed and aggressively claiming allergies. Ian has given up all pretense and is dabbing at his face with a napkin.
Then Jeff steps forward with a wrapped package that's... alarmingly large.
"For the happy couple," he announces. "For your new life together."
I take it hesitantly. The weight is weird. Uneven.
Gavin and I unwrap it together, and?—
"Jeff." I stare at the contents. "What the fuck."
It's a collection of items that I can only describe as "sex shop clearance bin meets European stereotypes." There's a chocolate body paint kit shaped like the Matterhorn. Edible underwear in Swiss flag colors. Something that vibrates and has way too many settings. And a book titled "Kama Sutra: Alpine Edition" that I'm pretty sure Jeff made himself.
"For the long winter nights," Jeff says solemnly.
"There is no way this is getting through customs," I manage.
"Not with that attitude!"
Gavin is laughing so hard he can barely breathe, leaning against me for support. I should be mortified… Iammortified, but I'm also laughing, and the whole room is laughing.
I'm going to miss these idiots.
The party is still going strong when Gavin's hand finds mine.
"Five minutes," he murmurs against my ear.
"That's what you said last time."
