"I love you too, you giant idiot." He's smiling now, shy and sweet and so beautiful it makes my chest ache. "I'm just... I'm terrified of being the reason you lose your family."
"You're not." I grab his hands, pull him closer. "The problems with my dad have always been there. It's only now that I'm in love with a man that they're fully visible. They were always there, just hiding under the surface."
Doc laughs, wet and surprised.
"Did you hear that?" I cup his face in my hands. "I'm in love with a man. You. I'm in love with you."
Doc swings a leg over and settles into my lap, and my brain goes completely offline for a second becauseDoc is in my lap.
Then he leans down and kisses me.
It's not gentle. It's not sweet. It's desperate and claiming, and his fingers are fisting in my shirt, and I'm grabbing his hips in case he disappears, andGod, I could do this forever. I could kiss him forever. I could?—
Doc pulls away.
His breathing is ragged. His lips are swollen. He looks wrecked in the best possible way.
Why did he stop? Why did he?—
"It's not just your family," he says.
The words don't compute.
"What?"
Doc untangles himself from me. Climbs off my lap and steps back. Puts distance between us that feels like miles.
"I got an acceptance letter today."
The panic fades into confusion. "Okay? Doc, that's amazing! I knew you'd crush those interviews. You're going to be an incredible?—"
"It's in Switzerland."
The word hangs in the air.
"...What?"
"The program." Doc's voice is steady, but his hands are shaking. "It's a prestigious pre-med track. They take students from around the world, fewer than twenty-five per year, and train them from the ground up. By the time you finish your specialization, you can work anywhere. It's the best medical education in the world."
My brain is trying to catch up. Switzerland. Europe. Thousands of miles away.
"How... how long?"
"Seven years. Minimum."
Seven years.
Seven years.
"I'm going to take it," Doc says, and his voice finally breaks. "Because I won't get a better opportunity anywhere, and all I've ever wanted is to be a doctor, and I can't?—"
He stops.
Swallows.
"I can't..."
The sentence hangs there, unfinished.
