"It's good advice," Ethan says, and I jerk my head up to stare at him.
"You agree with this?"
Ethan shrugs, cheeks slightly pink. "I mean... it might work?"
"Post-orgasm honesty is real," Sylas says sagely. "Science."
I groan.
But beneath the embarrassment, something else is surfacing. Something I've been trying not to look at too closely.
"The thing is," I hear myself say, "I don't just want to fix this. I don't just want him to stop pulling away."
"What do you want?" Ethan asks softly.
The words sit in my chest like a physical weight. I've known for a while now. Maybe since the beginning, if I'm honest.
"I'm in love with him."
Silence.
I look up. Both of them are staring at me.
"I'm in love with Doc." Saying it out loud makes it real. Makes it terrifying because he might not be in love with me back. "I'm completely, stupidly, embarrassingly in love with him, and I don't know when it happened, but it did, and now he's pulling away, and I don't know what to do."
More silence.
Then I process what I just said. Who I said it to.
"Oh fuck." I go cold. "Oh fuck, don't tell him. Please. I should have… He should hear it from me first. I should have told him first. Please don't?—"
"Gavin." Ethan grabs my arm. "Breathe."
"We won't tell him," Sylas says, and for once he's completely serious. "That's not our secret to share."
"Not even Tyler," Ethan adds. "And I don't keep any secrets from Tyler, but this isn't mine. It's yours. That's sacred."
Something in my chest unclenches. Before I can think about it, I'm pulling both of them into a hug, one arm around each, crushing them against my sides.
"Oof—Gavin?—"
"Can't breathe?—"
"You're squishing me?—"
"Thank you," I mumble into the space between their heads. "Both of you."
"You're welcome, now let go!“
I release them. They both stumble back, gasping dramatically.
"You're a menace," Sylas wheezes, but he's smiling.
"So what now?" Ethan asks, straightening his shirt.
I look toward campus. Toward the geek house. Toward Doc.
"Now I go find him."
