Drew pulls up his phone and starts scrolling. "Let's review, shall we? We've got Taj passed out with dicks drawn on his face, classy, by the way. We've got what appears to be drunk karaoke where someone is sobbing through 'All By Myself'—"
"That was emotional!" a guy I don't recognize protests.
"We've got Noah crying about his ex-girlfriend for four minutes —“
"She was the one, Drew!"
"And my personal favorite..." Drew's eye twitches. "Someone streaking across the frame with their entire ass out."
All eyes turn to a guy with messy brown hair who immediately throws his hands up. "Come on, guys, you have to believe me! It's not me this time!"
"Rex," Drew says slowly, "the video is literally tagged #DeltaPsiOmegaCakes."
"That doesn't prove anything!"
I glance at Gavin, who's trying not to laugh. He catches my eye and grins.
"It's definitely Rex," Gavin says casually.
Rex spins on him. "Dude! Betrayal!"
"What? That's clearly your Baby Yoda tattoo."
I sit up so fast I almost fall off Gavin's lap. "I'm sorry, his what?”
"His name is GROGU!" Rex shouts, which is absolutely not the defense he thinks it is.
"You have Baby Yoda tattooed on your ass?" I'm staring at Rex with what I'm sure is pure horror. "Why would you… who would… why?”
"Spring break sophomore year," Rex mutters. "I don't want to talk about it."
But I'm now glaring at Gavin instead. "And how exactly do you know about Rex's ass tattoo?"
The room goes "ooooooh" like we're in middle school.
Gavin's laughing, hands up in surrender. "Babe, no, it's not… Rex streaked the football field last year, and I happened to be at practice?—"
"So you were looking at his ass!"
"It was running past me! At eye level! There was a lot of jiggling!"
Rex nods vigorously. "There was! There was significant jiggling! Very hard to miss!"
Drew pinches the bridge of his nose. "Can we please get back to the fact that I had to swear to the Dean lat year that we weren't involved in that streaking incident, and now there's video evidence?—“
"The Dean doesn't have TikTok," Tyler offers.
"The Dean has a daughter, Tyler. A teenage daughter who definitely has TikTok and definitely follows campus drama accounts."
Gavin tugs me back against his chest, his lips brushing my ear. "Jealous, Doc?"
"Of Baby Yoda's placement? Absolutely not."
He chuckles, arms tightening around me. "Only ass I'm looking at is yours. Promise."
"Damn right," I mutter, but I settle back against him.
James looks up from his laptop. "Caleb and I are working on getting the videos taken down. DMCA claims for the ones with the house clearly visible."
