"That answer was beautiful, Doc. Raw and honest and exactly what they want to hear." I lean back in my chair, studying his face. "So what happened between then and now?"
"That was last week."
"What changed?"
"Everything. Nothing. I don't—" He stands abruptly, starts pacing. "When's your practice?"
I check my phone. "Forty minutes. Spring exhibition thing, remember? Team plays itself. There's a bunch of high school kids coming to watch to see if they want to play here next year."
"Right." He's not listening. Still pacing. "You should go."
"I've got time."
"No, you should… You should go." He's gathering his stuff now, shoving papers into his backpack with shaking hands. "This isn't working."
"The interview prep?"
"Any of it." Then, quieter: "Fuck, I didn't mean?—"
"Doc." I stand too, catch his arm gently. "Hey. Talk to me."
He looks at my hand on his arm like it hurts. "I can't."
"Can't what?"
"Do this right now. The interview, the—" He gestures between us. "I have stuff going on, okay? It's not you, it's me, I just?—"
"Did you seriously just say 'it's not you, it's me' me?" I try for humor, but my voice cracks.
"Gavin—"
"No, it's fine. Space. Got it." I grab my bag, proud that my hands are steady. "Good luck with your... stuff."
"Don't be like that."
"Like what? Understanding? Giving you space? Because I've been doing both of those things, and it doesn't seem to matter." I shake my head, moving toward the door. "Text me when you figure out what you want, Doc. I'll be around."
"Gavin, please?—"
But I'm already gone. Walking fast toward the athletic complex, trying to outrun the feeling like we just broke and I don't know how to fix it.
Well shit. I shouldn't have walked out like that.
My phone buzzes.
Twink Doc
I'm sorry
I shove it in my pocket without responding. Whatever's eating at him, he made it clear I can't help.
Time to go hit things. Legally. In pads.
Fucking perfect timing.
The quad's mostly empty this time of day. Just me and my spiraling thoughts about Doc's freak-out. I've got thirty minutes before practice, might as well sit here and catastrophize.
What if this is it? What if he realized dating a baby gay football player is too much drama? What if?—
