“That’s good.”
“We went to a tiny diner yesterday to have the most delicious pancakes I’ve ever tasted before he took me to a hell dimension because we needed inspiration for the different levels of our game.”
“Oh.”
“What, oh?”
“Barion took you to Waaseyaa. That’s an honor you can be proud of. It shows he’s as invested in you as you are in him.” Sammy was sipping from his cup, a knowing look in his eyes.
Jon didn’t want to acknowledge that look for what it was. If he were honest with himself, he was too afraid of the implications. “I told you we’re good friends and that we get along great. I’ve never met anybody whose interests are so similar to mine.”
“Before Barion, you’d never met anybody apart from the members of the book club.” The statement was made in a dry tone, which didn’t make it any less true.
“Then you should be proud of me. I’m meeting lots of new people, thanks to Barion. Although Grann doesn’t approve.”
“She doesn’t like Barion?” The hint of defensiveness in Sammy’s tone spoke volumes about how deeply he had already absorbed his brother-in-law into his family.
“It’s not that she doesn’t like him, per se. She doesn’t know him. It’s just that she’s not overly fond of me hanging around demontres, as she calls them, and Barion taking me all over the world and into other dimensions hasn’t exactly endeared him to her. She always worries about me.”
“It’s what family does—worry and love.” Sammy smiled softly, with a hint of sadness, and so much love of his own that Jon suddenly understood why everybody, especially paranormal creatures, was drawn to him. He may have been only human before he became Dre’s mate, but the love he carried in his heart was a magic more powerful than any other Jon had ever seen. It shone like a beacon, and its warmth gave Jon the courage to ask the question he had been trying to ignore all this time.
“Do you think I could be falling in love?”
The smile became blinding. “Absolutely. It’s a beautiful thing to watch.”
“But …” Jon hesitated, gathered all his strength. “Barion is still looking for his mate.”
“Has he mentioned it in the weeks you have spent together?”
Now that Jon thought about it. “Not since the very beginning. We’ve been busy most of the time.”
“Then it’s safe to say he’s not looking as actively at the moment as he had been before he met you. Why don’t you enjoy what the two of you have and maybe explore it a bit further?”
“And what do I do once he finds his mate?” Jon realized that was the heart of the matter, the thing he feared the most. What he had with Barion was wonderful, and he didn’t want to risk it for anything.
Sammy sighed deeply. “Then you get your heart broken.”
“Uhm, that’s accurate and entirely not what I wanted to hear.” Jon felt safe enough with Sammy to admit that.
“It’s the truth, broken down to its simplest form. It doesn’t cover all the joy you might experience if you dare the jump off the cliff. It doesn’t show you all the wonderful things you and Barion could see and do, are already seeing and doing. It doesn’t speak of what it would do to you personally to come out of your shell and find trust and love in another being who’s not related or your landlord.” Sammy grinned. “I don’t like the truth in its simplest form. It always misses out on the potential greatness taking high risks promises.”
“It’s easy for you to talk. Your high risk has given you the ultimate reward.” Jon wasn’t bitter. He didn’t begrudge Sammy his happiness, not in the least. He just couldn’t see the same happening for him.
“And I was petrified to take the leap.” Sammy bit into an apple pie and moaned in a way Jon was sure should be restricted to the bedroom. It did encourage him to take his own bite, though, and he wasn’t ashamed to copy Sammy’s sounds of appreciation.
“What made you do it?” Jon had seen what had happened between Dre and Sammy, but he had been an onlooker, thanks to his seclusive ways.
“It was a mixture of being tired of being afraid, of not wanting to postpone the inevitable anymore and of Barion telling Dre and me what utter morons we were.”
“Sounds exactly like something Barion would be doing,” Jon said with a fond smile.
“And he was right. That demon wouldn’t be able to keep his library in order if his life depended on it, but for all his flippantness, he can be surprisingly insightful.”
Jon sighed. “I hear you. It’s just that you and Dre at least had a hint that you might be mates because of your scent. Barion hasn’t mentioned such a thing to me. That I smell good to him, I mean.”
Sammy furrowed his brows. “We did have that. But do you know if zombies have a smell at all? I remember Declan and Troy saying something about you not having a scent, which drove them crazy in the beginning.”
Jon remembered those first days when the two alpha werewolves had joined their book club and wouldn’t stop sniffing him in the hope of getting a scent signature from him. Emilia had been equally bothered but had been too polite to show it openly until Amber had provided the solution. One evening, she had brought a selection of organic soaps that a friend of her made and ordered the three predators to agree on a flavor, which had led to a week-long debate about lavender-lemon versus apple-cinnamon, a discussion Jon hadn’t been allowed to join. When they had finally decided that lavender-lemon was better all year-round—versus apple-cinnamon being more of a fall-winter fragrance—Amber had gifted Jon an entire basket of soap bars with the order to use it every day. Declan, Troy and Emilia were satisfied because Jon now had a scent they could associate with him, and he got his soap for free. It was a win-win all around. And when the three wanted to spice things up in the fall, they would give him the apple-cinnamon soap.
